“I need the kids out of the house for a couple hours. Please make sure you, Farren, and James keep them safe. The aquarium should hold them over for the time I need.”
“Will do. Do you want Vito to come with you for protection?” I shake my head.
“No. I will be heading there. I will need my Maserati brought from the private garage down the street.” He nods and leaves me. What now?
Chapter Five
EMELIA
Icried the entire way back to the penthouse. I cannot remember the last time Nico and I had a fight. One to this degree, I don’t think we ever have. The last time I felt this way is when Nico held a gun to his head threatening to end it all when he thought I took my family’s side. I’m shaking, the warm car doing nothing to bring me comfort. I watch the passing buildings and pedestrians on the way, and it’s all starting to blur.
Farren and James pull up and we all climb out. My somber face stays low. The ride here and the elevator up, was silent. I prepare to be greeted by the boys and wipe away the tears from my face, plastering on a smile when the elevator dings.
“Mamma!” They come barreling over to me just as I step out.
“Hello, my loves, how was school? Were you good for Mrs. Nelly?” Elena, our nanny comes around the corner, her arm full of toys. She looks like they put her through it. I’m not surprised. Her brunette hair is falling from its clip and wildly into her face and she’s panting.
“Mrs. Valiente, I am so sorry! I was trying to pick up the mess before you got home.”
“It’s all right, sweetie. I can take it from here. Thank you.” She lets out a sigh of relief.
We only use her on occasions where Nico and I are at events, or both away doing things for Nico’s business and date nights. Enough time between can make one forget just how wild and carefree my boys are.
“We were, she even gave us the golden stickers on the fridge tracker.” We started tracking days when all boys passed their lesson of the day. They live for it and it’s the most homely thing about our penthouse. The fridge is covered in art, pictures, and magnets the boys collect, and I admit it is my favorite art in our home.
“Good job, my loves. What do we want to do this afternoon?” I need to take my mind off Nico. The cure to that is my children. They come first and are always able to make me smile, even when my world is upside down.
“We are going to the aquarium with Giulio, Farren, and James!” Luca smiles up at my guards. I turn and quizzically implore with a look.
“Giulio called and said, per Mr. Valiente’s request, we three would be taking the boys to the aquarium for the rest of the afternoon.”
“I see.” My stomach turns. I feel like I may be sick. He is going to cage me in and not let me out of his sight. Great. Turning back, I look at the three sets of eyes looking up at me.
“Papa!”
My back stiffens the second the elevator slides open, and the boys all leave me.
“I miei figli. How was today?” His soothing voice adds salt to my wounds.
I hate that its roughness meets soft with the boys and worse? It melts me inside out. If I turn and face him, I will break down again and the kids will see there is a problem. One thing Nicoand I agreed on before Nico the second came; we wouldn’t fight or ever indicate that there was danger looming. They are too young to learn about all of that still.
“I love you boys and you be safe. Mamma needs to use the restroom,” I say over my shoulder, the tears getting ready to fall.
“Love you!” they holler after me, and I rush to the stairs and head to our bedroom. I need a minute.
Once inside, I rush to the closet and sit on the floor against the middle island of drawers. Finally, I let those errant tears return and have their pesky way. Nico looked through me today. He couldn’t see past the rage and see that all I wanted was to explore myself and him more. To end the remaining reminders of all the women he experienced things with. Yes, there are a million other times he has been with women outside of that club, but that is his business, a place he goes to, day in and day out and every time he passes those rooms or has to god forbid step in one, it won’t be me who crosses his mind. It sounds so foolish, but it really isn’t. Nico isn’t just a man, and I am not just Emelia. We are extensions of each other and our mutual possession knows no bounds, at least I didn’t think it did until today.
“Amore mia.” Nico’s voice fills our large walk-in closet and the sob rips violently from my chest.
“No. I can’t look at you right now. I don’t even think I can speak to you. Please leave me alone.” I drop my head in my hands and cry some more. The feelings inside me are incomprehensible. There is a hollow feeling I have never had since becoming Nico’s. It feels like a limb was severed.
“You know I won’t let that happen. You and I can’t avoid this.”
“We can and I plan to for as long as I can. You really hurt my soul today, Nico.” I whisper the tail end of this statement. The words were hard enough to get out, as if a hand were tightly around my neck.
“I know and I see that now. But you need to know why, just like I need to know why you wanted to be in those rooms.” He counters, staying still in the doorframe. I chanced a look up at the mirror and caught a glimpse of those green eyes. Shit. Shit. Shit. At forty-two, he looks even more rugged, aged and experienced than he did at thirty-two when we married and I don’t know how. When I married him, I despised him but had never seen a more handsome, sexy, and rugged man. We are aging together. I am still in my early thirties, but we are supposed to grow old together and that brings me peace usually, but the wedge is so far deep between us, that I can’t help but hurt when looking at him.
“What does it matter? You didn’t care then, and you only care now because you what? Pity me?” I scoff, wiping at my tears.