Page 15 of Question Everything

“Well, I’ve got just the thing to take your mind off your troubles. Come to dinner at Sibby’s with me tomorrow night. Meet the rest of my family. It will be loud and crazy, believe me. You won’t be able to concentrate on anything other than what’s on your dinner plate.”

“I don’t know, Kyle. I’ve imposed on you enough.”Do I really want to meet more people? I can barely keep myself together here with just him. It’s stressful enough, but he’s been so kind. How can I say no?

“This is one way to repay me. I don’t want to go either, but I promised Sibby.” He looked down at his feet and she sensed he needed her to be there.

“Well, since you put it that way,” she smiled. “Sarah and I would be delighted to accompany you.”Well maybe not delighted. Obligated is closer to the truth.

A smile crossed his face just then, and she couldn’t help but think that he looked so handsome this way.

“Thanks. You’re really helping me out here. But there’s something I have to tell you first, before you hear it over at my sister’s house.”

From the look in his eyes, Mia could see that whatever this was, it was troubling him.Everybody has a secret, she thought.I wonder if his is bigger than mine…

“You may be wondering why I’m able to be at home here, with you.”

“I noticed that you were here all day long, of course, but I didn’t want to pry,” she said. “I didn’t feel like I could ask you...”

“I want to explain,” he began, and then he recounted the night when the shooting occurred. He told her everything, how he was sure the young perp had a gun, how it turned out to be a toy, how devastated he felt when he saw the blood seeping through the victim’s shirt. He told her about his suspension pending the investigation and how he’d locked up his personal weapon as well.

“I don’t even know how I feel about holding a gun again, and that’s a liability in my line of work. More than that, it’s not who I am. I was raised around guns, my dad taught all of us how to shoot and how to take care of a weapon. He stressed safety first. Besides, it’s a requirement of my job and a massive responsibility. It should be so much a part of me to carry my service revolver that I don’t even have to think about it, but now I’m not sure…”

“Kyle,” Mia said softly, moving closer to him on the couch. “Don’t do this to yourself. You made a mistake, we all do. Besides, it won’t happen twice. This trauma you’ve lived through will prevent you from ever doing the same thing again.”

He looked up at her just then, his green eyes misty. He was so open and so vulnerable that it made her insides turn to liquid. She reached out and put one hand on his shoulder where she could feel the physical evidence of his stress and pain. “It’s okay, Kyle. You’ve done enough penance now. When you go back to work, which I’m sure will happen, you’ll start to feel like yourself again.”

They sat in silence for a long while before he quietly said, “Thank you for understanding. It means a lot to me.”

“Of course,” she said. She had the sudden thought that if she continued to sit next to him, something might happen between them. She wanted to reach for him and kiss away his troubles, to feel more of his muscled body, share herself with him in the most intimate way. Instead, she asked, “Will you be okay if I go take a nap?”

When he looked up at her this time, she was sure she saw something else in his eyes, a longing of some sort. She wondered if the desire that she noticed there mirrored what she was feeling as well. She had better leave the room before she did something she’d regret. Her life was already complicated enough.

CHAPTER 8

As soon as Kyle opened the door to Sibby’s house, he knew he was in trouble. His entire family was sitting in the great room, the Patriot game displayed on the large screen television. His brothers, Tim and Conor, sat on opposite ends of the sectional couch wearing their lucky team jerseys, and each holding a bottle of Sam Adams as they loudly rooted for their team. His brother-in-law, Sibby’s husband Geoff, was trying to wrangle his sons as they ran circles around the room. His father was asleep in the recliner, oblivious to the sheer madness and noise around him; Kyle was sure that his mother and sister were in the kitchen arguing about how much more salt to add to the Sunday roast.

Kyle knew where this would lead. Inevitably, when the Pats lost to the Giants, there would be a lot of sulking and Monday morning quarterbacking all through dinner – or at least until Sibby told them to stop already and eat the food she’d worked on all day. Then Sibby would grab the saltshaker from their mother’s hand, threatening to tell her mother’s cardiologist about the woman’s serious addiction to the seasoning, adding that the doctor would need to up the levels of the other woman’smedications to prevent the stroke she was sure to have as she over-salted the meat on her plate.

Kyle let out a sigh. It was just another average Sunday afternoon with his family, except this week, he had a woman by his side, and to make it even more interesting, that woman had a baby with her. He thought for the briefest moment that he should just back up and go out the door, before they were spotted, but it was too late.

“Kyle,” Sibby yelled out over the din in the room. “So glad you could make it. Glad you brought your house guest along as well.”

He drew in a breath. “Hi, one and all. This is Mia, and the little one’s name is Sarah. Let’s give them a minute before you all descend like the locusts you are.”

“Come in, dear,” his mother said, stepping around him and heading straight for Mia. “So glad you could join us. Sibby told us what happened, the accident and all. I hope you’re feeling better now. I’m Colleen, by the way. And that sleeping beauty in the recliner is my husband, Tommy.” She turned to Tim and Conor. “Do you think you might turn the volume down some? You’re going to scare the wee one with the racquet you’re making.”

“Sure Ma,” Conor said. “Right after the next play.”

“Not later, Conor. Now,” his mother replied sternly and a second later, the sound was off as the picture still played.

Kyle watched as all eyes turned on Mia. He knew he had to step in before his family overwhelmed her entirely.

“Mia’s been through quite a trauma. Let’s give her some space,” Kyle said.

“Of course, Kyle. You don’t need to be the behavior police,” Tim kidded. “Unless you’ve been put back on the job. Has that happened yet?”

“Don’t be an asshole, Tim,” Sibby said. “If the disciplinary board had come back with a decision, we’d all know, right Kyle?”

Remembering the conversation he’d had with Mia, about his current work status, he felt his stomach turn. He had shared the information about the incident and opened himself up to her in a way that had surprised him. He had told her his deepest fear, that he was hesitant to shoot his gun, making him no longer fit to do his job. There was something about this woman that made him want to tell her everything and then bury himself so deeply inside her that he forgot his own name. He shifted his gaze to her. From the way she locked eyes with him he could almost imagine that she knew what he was thinking, and it made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He shook his head and quickly changed the subject.

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