Page 31 of Question Everything

“About last night, Mia, listen…”

She let out a long breath. “No, Kyle, you don’t need to say anything. Let’s just acknowledge that we both felt the same and leave it at that, alright?”

“Of course,” he replied, wishing it was different, wanting nothing other than to pull her into his arms and comfort her.

“I know what we’re here to do,” she said. “I need to sort out the mess that I am and appreciate any help you can offer. Is the internet working?”

“It should be,” he said. “I set it up before we left Boston. Let me check.” He lifted his burner phone out of the pocket of his sweatpants and scrolled through various screens. “It is. I’ll fire up the desktop in the office. You’re free to use anything you find in there. Oh, and the shelves are filled with books if you’re looking for something to read. Lots of thrillers and romance novels. Sibby and my mom are obsessed with one author in particular. Her name is Lucy Score. Or I think that’s her name. Last summer that’s all they talked about.

“I’ll take a look,” she said warmly, giving him a wide smile.

Once the coffee was done brewing, he reached for two large mugs from the cabinet and filled them. He opened the refrigerator and pulled out the half and half for her, placed it on the counter and said, “Also, feel free to look around the kitchen. There’s lots of equipment for any type of cooking and plates, silverware, and glasses behind those doors and drawers. He pointed toward the polished cherrywood cabinets against the opposite wall. “I’m sure you can find anything you need while I’m in the garage.”

She lifted her mug and nodded. After a sip she said, “I’m good with this. I’ll be here when you get back. I have no plans to do anything other than drink this coffee.”

He smiled. “Well, maybe I can convince you to take a walk later.”

“Maybe,” she said. “Or perhaps we’ll just stay indoors where hell isn’t freezing over.” She winked at him.

He felt that small eye movement deep in his belly. He turned to leave before he couldn’t.

CHAPTER 16

Mia watched as Kyle left the house for the garage and once she heard the door close behind him, she slumped forward on the stool and put her head down on the cool countertop. Contrary to what she’d just told him, she wasn’t good. She was so far from good that she didn’t have the words to express the truth of how she was feeling.

Nothing felt familiar to her. She had tried to fit in with Kyle and his family, but she still had this nagging awareness that these were not her people, no matter how kind and welcoming they’d been since she had met them. It was maddening. It was almost as if she was standing next to her true self, but she couldn’t reach that person, no matter how hard she tried. The truth of who she was remained elusive, as if it was sitting right at the edge of her consciousness but she couldn’t reach in and grab it. And while that was frustrating, it paled in comparison to how she was feeling about Kyle.

Mia could not deny her growing attraction to this man. Her initial wariness of why he was trying to help her, a total stranger, disappeared long ago. For as strong and commanding he was, she’d seen his other side; he was flawed and vulnerable himself. Whatever had happened that night when he shot that youngboy by mistake had forever changed him, that was clear. Maybe he stopped to help her after her accident out of a need for redemption, or maybe, now knowing him better, he’d stopped because that’s just who he is, she couldn’t know for sure. The only certainty she currently had about anything was the way she felt about him. Her life had been turned upside down with that car crash, but it had brought him to her.Was that so terrible?

She lifted her head and looked at her daughter, happily kicking her feet in the little seat that must have once been used by Sibby’s children. This house was certainly equipped for family life. “Sarah,” she asked the little girl. “What have I done? What are we going to do, you and I?”

The baby just looked at her, blue eyes wide, her hand fisted as she tried to put it into her mouth.

“And we’re stuck inside today, the weather is terrible. We’re in the middle of nowhere. It’s almost gothically romantic. I’ll need to watch myself. I can’t fall for this man; do you hear me?” It was as though saying the words out loud would have a greater impact on her. They didn’t.

The baby just cooed back to her mother, kicking her feet harder as if to say that she was excited to spend the day with Kyle as well. Mia looked out one of the enormous windows at the ocean, waves high and roiling, the slate gray sky reminding her of Kyle’s gaze. She shook her head. It was going to be a long day.

By the time Kyle returned from the garage, Mia had managed to make a large pot of oatmeal. She wasn’t sure why, but the warm cereal felt both reminiscent of something she couldn’t place yet comforting, totally appropriate for a cold morning. She was in the pantry looking for brown sugar when she heard him come through the mud room. When she stepped into the kitchen, he was there, filling the space, his cheeks red from the cold.

“It is freezing outside,” he said, pouring more hot coffee into the mug he’d left on the counter. “That’s unusual for this time of year. I moved the car into the garage. If we get more of that icy rain, at least I won’t need to scrape it off again.”

“Would you like some hot oatmeal?” she asked him.

Yeah, that would be great.”

She spooned some into a bowl for him and passed over the small ramekin of brown sugar she’d found in the pantry.

“Thanks,” he said. “This looks great. Do you think this is something you ate as a kid?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think about it, but now that you ask, it was just something I knew how to make. I don’t know why that is, but…”

They both ate in silence for a few minutes, then he asked, “Are we okay after last night?”

She felt a mix of sadness and relief. It would be good to clear the air. “Of course,” was all she managed to say.

“Good,” he replied, although she didn’t think he sounded convincing. He abruptly changed the topic as if moving on from it would make the sexual tension between them disappear. “There are some basic things I can show you about the house, and I also thought it might be best if we discussed what would happen if those men somehow showed up here.”

Her eyes widened. “I thought we came all this way here to avoid that,” she replied.