Page 69 of Guarded By the Phantom

One thought clawed at my brain, demanding attention. She got herself ready for me. Dressed up—for me. She did all those pretty, girly things, and it was all for my sake. My throat closed up, and the best I could do in lieu of a greeting was a hoarse grunt.

“What’s that?” she asked, looking at my pink-eyed scarecrow. “Oh, it’s the suit! You said you’d do something with it. This looks really fun!”

She faced me with a smile, and I still couldn’t say a word. An urge to do something, right now, gripped me by the throat. I wasn’t even sure what I wanted to do. I only knew she liked me, she was here, she wanted to fuck me, and it wasn’t enough. It never would be. I had to have her, forever. And I had to do something to make it happen. Right now.

God. Should I propose?

I didn’t have a ring. I had a grenade, though, but I was pretty sure the safety pin would be too big for her finger.

What else? What could I do?

“Phantom? Are you all right?” she asked, coming closer. “Why are you so quiet?”

Phantom.Fuck, it sounded so wrong.

“It’s not my name,” I blurted out. “It’s just a code name. It’s what everyone calls me, but you… You should call me by my real name.”

She nodded seriously, cupping the side of my face in her warm hand. I swallowed, my throat so tight. The way she touched me undid me, because I couldtellit wasn’t because of a fetish but because she likedme.

“What’s your real name?” she asked softly, her thumb caressing my cheek bone.

“Scarab,” I said hoarsely. “I, uh, named myself. Because in Mexico, they called meescarabajowhenever I was among humans. It’s because of the armor. It looks like… like I’m an insect.”

Only two other people knew my real name: Fatima and Nat. I hadn’t explained it to either of them, just introduced myself as Scarab once we became friends.

I wasn’t sure why I told her the origins of my name. It was like I wanted her to know everything about me. The more she didn’t recoil, the more I craved to show her everything that was horrible about me. Because she took it all, my darkness and filth. She didn’t even bat an eyelid. I couldn’t understand how a being so fragile could contain all my ugliness, but she did.

“Hello, Scarab,” she said with a smile. “Nice to meet you. I love your name.”

She loved my name.

I groaned, pink fireworks exploding in my brain. “You’re killing me, doll. Stop being so nice or I’ll expire.”

She laughed softly. “But why? You deserve to be told nice things.”

Her eyes glittered with mischief, and I remembered I’d told her something similar before.

“I’m not like you,” I said, shaking my head. “You are genuinely a good person. You care about library books. Oh, bythe way. Here. You said you wanted to return it, so I got you a new copy.”

I reached for the mind-manipulation book I’d hunted down and paid over five hundred bucks for. As she smiled her radiant, happy smile, taking it from my hands, I decided it was all worth it. Fuck, I’d do so much more for this woman’s smile.

Yeah, I was a doormat. And it didn’t matter because I didn’t care anymore. All that mattered was that she was happy, because then, I was happy, too.

“Thank you so much!” she exclaimed, reverently running her fingers over the cover. “But you didn’t have to! I looked for it on my own, only, I couldn’t find any copies online… How did you even get this?”

Through extortion.“I just asked around. A friend of a friend found it lying in her attic.”

And then was persuaded to sell it after I threatened to skin her cat.I didn’t say it out loud. Barbara struck me as the kind of person who cared about animals. Besides, I wasn’treallygoing to hurt the cat. Normally, I would have just stolen the book, but I refused to leave Barbara’s side, which complicated things.

“You have no idea how glad I am!” she said, her eyes sparkling with happiness. “It weighed on me, and I’m glad I can give it back. Though, maybe anonymously.”

She bit her lip, looking up guiltily. I grinned and took the book from her hand.

“I will return it, okay? Later. Now, doll. Show me what you’re wearing.”

“Oh.” She blushed, looking up through her eyelashes.

Slowly, she let the robe fall down her shoulders until it pooled at her feet. I retracted the armor from my palms and slid them down her arms, looking at my pink, pretty girl.

---