Page 174 of Forget

“I saw things I shouldn’t have,” I murmur. “The guys and I have been together for… well, forever. We have agreements for how we play, fuck, figure out disagreements. I suck at words, so I express myself differently. You and I don’t have that kind of history, and I fucked up. You did nothing wrong. You can push as much as you want, and I’ll deal, baby girl. I don’t deserve for you to call me by my name. Call me whatever fits.”

“Aiden,” she rasps, eyes filling with tears as she shakes her head. Flinching in surprise, I feel as if I just got hit in the damn face.

“Again?” I ask, gazing at her. “Ple?—”

“You don’t have to beg,” she says. “Aiden, we both screwed up.”

“I’m the alpha,” I growl. “I’m supposed to be safe, your person, the one who has shit figured out. I let my emotions and instinct push me to be someone that I don’t want to be. It’s really hard to face that I was jealous of anything and everything that didn’t involve the pack and me. You have this whole life.”

“My life is exhausting,” she admits. “I wake up tired, spend the day expecting the world to blow up on me, and then go to bed alone. What use is helping people if I can’t even help myself?”

“You need help,” I murmur, the wheels beginning to turn in my head. “Omega’s Havenis getting to be a huge project, which is incredible. Maybe put out feelers for a manager to give you space to breathe?”

“The problem is who,” Aisling sighs, dropping her head on my shoulder. “I don’t want someone taking over, not because Wren and I are perfect?—”

“No, but I saw on the video how easy it is for someone to turn it into a sex trafficking ring,” I grumble. She relaxes against me, and I purr for her. I don’t want to unduly influence Aisling, but she’s anxious enough as it is.

“Will you give the guys a chance? They want to solidify their bonds and properly court you.”

“Do they?” she asks. “Why aren’t they telling me this?”

“Because I am,” I tell her with a small smirk. “I’m the fuck up, they just followed my lead. When we figure things out, we’ll have solid conversations around what you like and don’t want. They’re called hard and soft limits.”

“I kind of had an entire conversation about what that means in therapy,” she says with a small smile.

The fact that Dr. Alys talked about this with her makes my lip curl up. I’m glad they started this conversation so now I can continue it.

“Good,” I murmur. “It’s okay not to know what you like or don’t so you can experiment, but it’ll never go as far as it did in the alley. I’m… so sorry, Aisling. It all got so out of hand. I never want to hurt you again.”

Sniffling, she nods, and I can feel her tears soaking my shirt.

“Baby… I want to take myself out of the equation,” I rasp. I’m sure my racing heart beat is pounding under her ear, telling her how scared out of my mind I am right now. I’m not good enough for her.

“Date the guys, see where things go. Give them a chance, yeah?”

“Why do I feel like you’re breaking up with me?” Aisling asks, voice cracking.

“Fuck,” I sigh, shifting so I can lift her legs, so they’re draped over mine. I need a damn snuggle. Wrapping my arm around her, since my hand is still captive, I kiss her temple. “I’m not, I promise. I’ll be around, I’ll stop moping, you’ll see me every day.I just think my presence is complicating things. We can work on being friends first.”

“Friends,” she says, and I panic. No matter how I say this, it’s going to suck.

“I don’t deserve you yet,” I tell her gently. “I want to make sure I will. You feel off, right? Maybe sad when you don’t know why? Anxious?”

“Yes,” she says with a nod. “I feel a little crazy. I thought Dr. Alys was going to put me in the hospital, to be honest. It’s one of the reasons that I kept putting off my appointments.”

“You’re not crazy,” I tell her, cursing in my head. “You have Domh and Caelin’s bites, so the bonds are half formed. They’re not meant to not be reciprocated for long periods of time. Domh and Caelin can feel the echoes of your emotions, which you have this feeling of too much.”

“That’s how it feels,” she sighs. “It’s the oddest thing too. I decided I hated the color navy blue while I was nesting, but don’t know why. I love that color.”

“That’s an interesting color to decide not to like,” I tease her. Navy blue is one of my favorite colors too, though she doesn’t know that. “It’s a side effect of the bond, though. Once it’s accepted, it won’t be an issue. You’re stuck with them, baby.”

“I do like them,” she mutters. “So I should date them and see where things go?”

“Mmhmm,” I say. “Evan too.”

“I don’t want him to feel left out,” she says quickly. I think she may like him best, and that’s okay.

It’s good for his ego, anyway. He’s always worried that he would be left behind.

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