Page 77 of Savage Escape

“No, I can’t drop it. What’s it about? Just sex for you?”

“It’s not that.” Caden jerked a hand through her hair and tried to find patience.

“Then what is it?” Where was her goddamn bra?

“It’smeokay? It’s me! Youcan’tlove me!” The words were out there and she couldn’t take them back. God damn Nate and his persistence.

“Why the hell not?”

“Because I’m no good, Nate! Okay? I’m not fucking good enough for you!” And there it was. They could have gone on in blissful ignorance if he hadn’t brought his feelings into it.

“What?” Nate looked dumbstruck. “What do you mean?”

Frustration overrode everything else. Why couldn’t he just leave it alone? Why did he have to go and say that he loved her? He couldn’t love her, not really. He was too good. Too fucking pure for this world.

“You know what—I’m just gonna leave.” It was for the best. She would leave and he could forget about her.

“What? No!”

“Yes, I’m leaving. Don’t follow me.” Caden stepped into her shoes and grabbed her phone. She had nothing else except for a bra that she could not find.

“Caden, let’s talk about this.” Nathan scrambled out of bed and tore through the pile of clothes on the ground.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” She was already at the front door.

Nate was still trying to pull up his pants when she shut the door. As soon as the door was closed behind her, Caden ran for all she was worth, which admittedly wasn’t much, but still she ran.

She ran until her heart ached and she was gasping for air. The air was hot even for how early in the morning it was. She was dripping with sweat. It took her a long minute, but when she finally registered her surroundings, she found that she was in the middle of a neighborhood.

She didn’t recognize anything—not that she had been paying much attention when they drove to Nathan’s house.

Caden plopped on the transit bus bench and took a moment to gather herself, but she was too raw and scattered to do much gathering. So instead, for the first time since her sister had died, she let herself cry. Ugly, guttural sobs that tore at her chest.

Caden sat on the bus bench, her body trembling as she sobbed. Each cry was like a dam breaking, the pressure of everything she had tried to ignore finally rushing out. Her chest heaved, and she pressed her palms against her eyes, trying to contain the flood, but it was useless.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. None of it.

Nathan wasn’t supposed to care. He wasn’t supposed to love her. He was supposed to be a fun distraction, something easy. They weren’t meant to get tangled up in feelings. Not like this.

Caden felt the weight of her sister’s death, the crushing guilt, the pain she had buried for so long. She had spent years convincing herself that she didn’t deserve anything good—that she didn’t deserve to be loved. And now, here was Nate, telling her he did. It didn’t make sense.

Why couldn’t he just let it go?

She knew she wasn’t someone to be loved. She’d only destroy him, the way she destroyed everything else. Nate was kind and sweet, and he deserved better than her mess. He deserved someone whole, someone who hadn’t been broken by life. Not someone who ran at the first sign of something real.

Caden drew in a ragged breath, trying to calm the storm raging inside her, but the tears kept falling. The loss of her sister, the guilt, the shame—it was all too much. She wasn’t crying just because of Nate. She was crying because she hadn’t allowed herself to feel anything for so long. It all came crashing down now.

Her phone buzzed in her hand, and for a second, she didn’t want to look. But she knew it was Nathan. He wouldn’t just let her go. She wiped her face, smearing the tears, and glanced down at the screen.

Nate:Where are you? We need to talk about this. Please don’t leave before we talk.

A fresh wave of emotion hit her.

Why? Why couldn’t he just walk away like everyone else had?

She put her phone back into her back pocket, feeling torn between wanting to run farther and wanting to go back. She didn’t deserve his love, but the thought of him giving up on her twisted something deep in her chest.

For now, though, all she could do was sit there, surrounded by the unfamiliar streets, alone with her thoughts and the ache in her heart. She leaned her head back, staring up at the sky, and let the tears fall.

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