Page 92 of Toxic

I woke up at 3:00 am after practically sleeping the whole day away.

My head hurt, and my muscles ached like I was sick, as if my body was manifesting the pain of losing Soren. But my mind was still filled with dark clouds of anger. I guess it was working—now I hated him even more. More than yesterday, for sure. Maybe they were right? Perhaps I really dodged a bullet.

I cursed under my breath when I realized I hadn’t packed, even though I promised my parents I would. I was supposed to be ready to leave right after receiving my diploma.

Archer and Alvin were already asleep, and I knew rummaging around the room would wake them up, but what could I do? I got up and started packing. I pulled out my suitcaseand tried to be as quiet as possible. As I gathered my things, I felt awful. I was finalizing this phase of my life. College was over, my education complete, and my future set. I was supposed to work for Nathaniel’s software company, with hours that suited me. It should be perfect, right?

It was also a life that had no room for Soren. I was going back home to my parents—alone, with a broken heart, full of stark anger—stripped of hope and faith in people.

I managed to pack without waking my roommates, then crawled back into bed and forced myself to get a little more sleep, shutting off all thoughts and emotions. That was also my plan for the next day.

***

The morning was rough. My head felt like it was about to burst, like I was nursing a massive hangover. Alvin was pulling on his formal attire, so I reluctantly took a shower and did the same.

We didn’t talk much before heading out to the graduation ceremony. I only mentioned that my parents would be driving over afterward to help load up my stuff.

Archer had promised to join us for our graduation, even though he still had a year left in college. He dressed up and walked over to give me a hug.

"Well, dude… congrats on graduating from college, and good luck with everything!" He hesitated for a second before adding, "And, uh… I’m sorry about the whole Soren thing."

When he let me go, I muttered, "You were right. I should’ve handled it sooner. Maybe things would’ve turned out differently."

"Maybe," he said, trying to be reassuring as he met my eyes. "Who knows, you might run into Soren again someday."

There was genuine sympathy in his expression, a kind of brotherly warmth. He put a hand on my shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

"I get it. It’s rough when the one you want the most isn’t an option. But you’ll get through it. You learn to live with it. I did."

The empathy in his face, the understanding—somewhat soothed my soul.

"Thanks," I said, shaking my head slightly. "But I doubt I’ll ever see him again. And even if I do, it won’t matter. He’s not gonna change his mind. I’ll still be an alpha, and he’ll still be a beta."

It surprised me that I could even say Soren's name out loud. Just uttering it felt like physical pain, like I had a wound in my mouth. I blinked, shocked by the sensation.

Archer tilted his head, studying my face, so I quickly shrugged, trying to brush it off.

"Whatever. I just need to get through this. Right now, I’m probably still in shock. Once it fades, I’ll probably fall apart, but for now, I’m running on fumes of pure anger."

"I get that," Archer said. "But you know you’ll see him at the ceremony, right?"

"Yeah, but I’m not talking to him. There’s no point anymore. I don’t want to dig any of it back up."

Alvin, who had been quietly watching us from the side, nodded in approval.

"That’s the spirit. Clean break. Forget about him and move on. When you get back home, hook up with some hot omegas and get laid. Trust me, it helps—been there myself."

The thought of sleeping with someone else made my stomach turn. My whole body rejected the idea, but I wasn’t about to tell Alvin that. He wouldn’t understand.

A moment later, we heard a knock. It was Gabriel, already dressed up, coming to walk us to the ceremony. He also congratulated me, and since he didn’t know what had happened, he was probably surprised to see me so dejected, so… NOT in a celebratory mood. But, oh well. Life went on, or… it seemed that way at the moment.

***

During the entire ceremony, I was out of phase, disconnected from my body, cut off from my own feelings—by my own choice.

My family arrived too—all my brothers, plus my cousin and boss, Nathaniel Nolan. Rain was there with his insanely gorgeous fiancée, Kay, who was his True Mate. I’ll admit, seeing them didn’t bring me as much joy as it should have; my emotions were completely numb, and I felt kind of dazed.

Spotting Storm among my brothers pissed me off even more.

---