Page 87 of Toxic

He didn’t come back to the dorm all night? Where could he be? A wave of fear washed over me, but I tried to convince myself he was just out there trying to get back at me. Maybe he hiredsome escort to fuck him and forget about me. I could live with that. I probably deserved it.

After about an hour of internal struggle, I went to my laptop and wrote him an email, asking to meet up.

I waited another hour, staring at the screen, but… no reply.

It was the second-to-last day of college. Just a few formalities needed to be taken care of before the end of the year. I had to go to the dean’s office, but Skye still hadn’t contacted me!

I couldn’t take it anymore. I was on edge, nervous, restless.

By the afternoon, after visiting the dean’s office, I found myself heading back to Skye’s dorm.

Yet, I was out of luck again; Alvin opened the door.

This time I tried to peek inside, but I didn't see anyone behind Alvin, I only did catch a glimpse of a large open suitcase on what, I thought, was Archer's bed. That was all I could see. There was no sign of Skye, but his bed was further to the side.

"It’s the mantis again," Alvin muttered, stepping out and closing the door behind him. He crossed his arms over his chest, clearly annoyed. "What do you want?"

"Did you tell him to contact me?"

"I did, but he doesn’t want to talk to you. He’s sleeping right now because he was up all night, totally crushed after the whore he loved dumped him. Give him a break. You messed him up hard, stop playing with the poor guy!"

I clenched my teeth. There was no point in replying, so I just went home and wrote another email to Skye, this time begging even more desperately for a meeting.

But that one went unanswered, too. My only hope now was to see him tomorrow at graduation. It would be my last chance to make amends, to plead with him, to explain.

That evening, I spent hours going over what I should say to him. If he hadn’t replied by now, it meant he was really hurt. Ihad to clear things up between us once and for all. I still believed I could fix this. I was desperately trying to convince myself that the cruel words I’d used to push him away hadn’t caused irreversible damage.

Was I fooling myself?

An unnerving thought occurred to me:

Maybe bringing Don into this was crossing a line I should never have crossed.

Don wasn’t just some random guy I could use to break up with Skye. He was a rapist. Choosing him over Skye… it was a massive slap in the face. I fucked up, big time.

***

The next day was graduation.

Chaos had taken over the campus since morning. I wasn't sure how I got through it all. The only thing I knew was that during the ceremony, I finally saw Skye. He was standing next to Archer, Gabriel, and Alvin, dressed in a sharp suit. Unfortunately, his family was there too, including a bunch of his brothers, so he was surrounded by a big crowd, like an impenetrable fence.

I have to admit, it made me a bit nervous. Approaching him in front of all those people, who’d definitely be judging me? A beta. Tattooed. Pierced. But if I had no other choice, I’d have to do it. This was my mess to clean up.

I watched him from a distance, but he probably couldn’t see me in the crowd. I was desperately looking for a moment when he’d be alone. Finally, after he got his diploma, it happened. He was walking back stiffly, his face pale, his eyes distant. As heturned toward his family with the diploma in his hand, I slipped out from between the other students and blocked his path.

"Skye, can we talk?"

His eyes scanned my face like I was just another meaningless picture he was scrolling by on a screen, and then… the worst happened. He just walked right past me, straight to his parents, who hugged him and congratulated him.

It was like a slap in the face. I almost stumbled.

No, no…

This couldn’t be happening.

But why was I so shocked? I deserved this! I had treated him much worse.

So, I stood there like an idiot, staring at them, feeling like some weight was pressing me down. I lost all the courage to approach him again, feeling only pure, raw fear. I realized I had destroyed something beyond repair.

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