Page 58 of Toxic

"You know, you give him hope if he's seriously interested in you. And even if all he wants is sex, it still gives him hope."

I rubbed my eyes, feeling a wave of discomfort. I felt that Skye desired more, but I couldn’t push him away… not yet. Just for a little while longer, I wanted to keep him close, feel that excitement, that joy when he held me, smell his scent, bask in his warmth, savor the bliss of his addictive presence.

"I get that, Liam, but it doesn’t mean anything. He's in for a disappointment. I don’t want to be with alphas. I know it doesn’t make sense to you. Why keep engaging with him? But I promise you, I won’t let myself be destroyed by another relationship like that. Life gave me a hard enough kick last time. I’ve learned my lesson."

The typing indicator moved again.

"I wish I were there with you instead of him, Soren," he finally wrote.

"I appreciate it, but it's all over now. This whole pregnancy thing is another learning experience for me. Another reason to stay away from alphas, because I know when I have my mini-heat, trouble is on its way."

Another pause. The typing indicator appeared again.

"It’s good Don doesn’t know. That would add more problems. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I were there instead. For your heat."

My fingers hovered over the screen, suddenly immobile. The thought was… very uncomfortable. But yeah, good question. What if I had a mini-heat and Liam was in the same room with me? Would I beg him to fuck me? Would I prefer to use a dildo, which is what I've been doing since I broke up with Anton?

For a moment, I tried to imagine it, but reluctantly. I still remembered sex with Anton all too well—his alpha body, pinning me against the sheets, that pleasurable feeling of being overpowered by his masculine presence, stamina, and virility.

Liam would never have held me down like that and fucked for hours. He was smaller than me, weaker, and by his own admission, he was a bottom, just like me. Neither he nor I were ever into topping, so what could two bottoms do during a mini-heat?

Or should I ask that? How did he see it? Suddenly, I was tempted to throw such a confrontational question at him.

"And what would you have done, Liam? Would you fuck me?"

A long moment of silence. "If you wanted me to, yes," his reply popped up on the screen. "I have a decent dick. Bigger than Don’s."

Gosh! No, no, no! I squeezed my eyes even tighter to remove the vision of Liam's private parts from my mind. Bythe way, winning in size over Don’s dick wasn’t much of an accomplishment, since he had five inches, a more common size among omegas. Could Liam really do it? An unpleasant shiver ran down my spine. Damn, the discomfort was unbearable.

But maybe, just maybe, during a mini-heat, I could mentally break myself enough to offer him my hole? In those moments, I couldn’t think straight. Part of my brain just shut off. I understood the omegas when they said the heat was a crazy experience, but for them, it was even worse—it lasted between three and seven days!

I couldn’t imagine going through something like that… wanting to be fucked for so many days? So much so that you think you can’t survive without feeling a dick inside you. Really—I had it for maybe three-four hours, and it made me sick to my stomach to think of another mini-heat and the nightmarish tension that would come with it. And not even the need for sex was so stressful—because once it was satisfied, that would be the least of my problems—but… what would come of it.

When I was with Anton, it didn’t seem so alarming, but if I push Skye away… When would the mini-heat hit me again? It could be two months or maybe four months. Who would be with me then? What if no one was? Or some stranger? What if I got pregnant again? What if I got myself into trouble? No alpha would refuse to help me during it, that’s for sure, but what would come next? Too many dilemmas.

Maybe Liam was really the better, safer option. A sure option.

He was a good friend, and maybe he’d be a good partner too. I shouldn’t push him away recklessly, like I did with everyone else who was interested in me. Liam was undeterred by my rude and prickly behavior that I put up like a fence.

I hesitated for a moment before replying to him, with my fingers trembling.

"Maybe soon… we’ll find out. College graduation is in less than two months. A month and a half, to be exact."

Liam didn’t reply for a while. I was sure he was probably jumping for joy now because I was giving him the green light, the hope he had been waiting for so long and so patiently.

"You have no idea how much those words mean to me, Soren."

Yup. Exactly. Just as I thought.

"What do you all see in me?" I didn’t even know why I wrote that. It just slipped out. "You, Don, Skye… Those fucking patrons, always someone!"

"It’s hard to explain. For me, it's everything about you. You're so beautiful from the inside out. Sexy. Smart."

"Don’t exaggerate. I’m not a typical hottie."

He sent a laughing emoji.

"Seriously, even you don’t believe that. You have something that makes people want to be the one you look at with those stormy eyes of yours and belong to… Like a magnet, you draw people in."

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