Page 121 of Toxic

I felt like my heart was going to split in two. For more than 30 days, he had tried to reach out to me, pleading, begging me to come back, and he got… nothing in response?

In a trembling whisper, I asked, "Soren, did you really think I wouldn’t reply to any of your emails? Did you really think I wouldn’t come flying from the other side of the world if you just said, 'Let's try'? You can’t be serious!"

Soren stayed silent. I could feel tears beginning to roll down my cheeks. Just like that time on campus, my legs buckled beneath me. I collapsed to my knees, pressing my hands to my face, feeling so overwhelmed, like a hundred-ton boulder had just been dropped on me.

"I'm gonna kill him. I swear I’ll kill that bastard… This is all because of him!"

"I always wondered if he even told you that I was there twice, and he sent me away empty-handed… Did he?" Soren asked quietly.

"No! Not a single word!"

Soren stood still, staring at the wall. He seemed to be in some sort of stunned shock, completely frozen.

"I want to read these emails," I suddenly demanded in a firm, somber tone.

He let out a quiet scoff. "They don’t matter anymore."

"What?! They do!" I nearly burst out, snatching his phone from his hand. He didn’t even resist. Still on my knees, I began forwarding every single email to myself, one by one, just to be sure. I sent them to my backup email address.

He didn’t stop me, standing motionless, staring toward the window, looking very pale.

"Those emails belong to me, and I'm going to read them all because you sent them to me," I stuttered, my voice shaky.

Soren remained silent, still as a statue, his eyes fixed on the window. When I finished forwarding the emails, I slowly stood up and handed his phone back to him.

Only then did he look at me, even paler than before.

"It… it doesn't matter anymore, Skye. That window that once existed—it’s closed now. I made peace with you not wanting me, and I moved on. I’m with Liam now. It’s too late. Too late…" His voice was faint, like he could barely breathe.

I felt so overwhelmed with emotions, I couldn’t collect my thoughts. My throat constricted. I wanted to say something, to argue, to beg, but his face—looking like someone who’d just gone through a deep shock, unable to move—was reflected in my own silence. I couldn’t find the words to respond.

Only when he turned to leave did I finally choke out, "I wasn’t lying. I still love you, Soren."

He hesitated for a moment.

"As I said, that window is closed, Skye. I made a promise to Liam to try to build a relationship. He waited years for this chance. And I finally decided to give him that. It was three weeks ago. Don’t you understand? I can’t just break it, what kind of person would do that? It’s too late, I’m sorry."

And… he walked out.

I stayed in the bathroom for another 15 minutes, feeling like I had gone from the slow-motion nightmare I had been living in to a nightmare on fast-forward, where everything was happening brutally fast, overwhelming my senses.

Almost swaying, feeling dizzy, I washed my face in the sink with cold water. Only after a few minutes was I able to return to the teamroom.

I sat down at my desk, feeling broken, defeated—maybe even more painfully than the first time. Were they all right? Should I never have taken this job?

My whole body trembled slightly. I stared at the screen, fighting the aching clench in my jaw.

I focused on the code, just to keep myself from thinking. Not now! The pain was too sharp.

Later, I’ll think later…

SOREN

I didn’t tell Liam about it.

I couldn’t.

A sense of torment overwhelmed me. I felt physically sick, betrayed, like someone had taken something from me, destroyed it, and then thrown it back in my face. I couldn’t even blame Alvin. I knew he never liked me; Skye had told me that Alvin had discouraged him from being with me, so it made sense. I also knew Alvin had a thing for Don. From the start, he had a soft spot for the bastard because they shared the erotic asphyxiation kink. So it wasn’t surprising he pulled a stunt like this, revenging Don in a way.

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