Page 81 of Thicker than Blood

“How awful.”

“I became obsessed with vampires. I needed to understand them. I joined Meredith’s team and dedicated myself to research. I thought I might remember the details, but all I knew was what people told me about the uprising. I wanted to figure out a way to make both sides happy so it would neverhappen again. So the vampires wouldn’t need to assert their dominance.”

He kisses my hand while I rub my forehead with the other one.

“I’ve studied my own blood a thousand times, Elias. I’ve never seen anything different about it from a regular mortal. Nothing triggered me to remember the origin of my own birth.”

He nods, the kind expression on his face soothing my wounded heart.

“The worst thing I’ve dealt with is guilt. Why did they let me survive but not my mom or my sister? Why did my mom kill my dad? I tried to hate vampires, but I can’t.” I blow out a breath. “And why am I so obsessed with vampires? Why do I…?” Can I even say it out loud?

“You can tell me, Geordi.”

Maybe it would feel good to actually admit it. Would it relieve some of the guilt plaguing me the past five years? Only one way to find out.

“It’s so wrong, but part of me wants to be one too.”

“A vampire?”

I nod. “Yeah. I feel like a traitor for wanting to be the thing that destroyed my family.”

“These are complicated feelings, my darling, but they aren’t your fault. You want it because it’s already in you. It’s the beast inside that wants freedom. Eventually, you would have no choice but to let it out as your father did. I can only imagine your mother did what she thought was right, or even, perhaps, what they had discussed before.”

My bottom lip quivers. “I can’t help it?”

“No more than I can. It’s in your blood. It’s your nature, at least in part. Dhampirs are not common anymore for many reasons, a broken alliance the least of them. You want to honor the part of yourself that you know and understand, yet youare drawn to the monstrous part. In my experience, eventually you give in or you go mad.” He squeezes my hand. “Now you know why there’s a rule about romances between mortals and vampires.”

“Gods, I never thought about it on that level.” I swipe at my bleary eyes. “I don’t know what to do now. Now that I know. What do I do, Elias? I’ll lose everything if I turn. The people who trust me will…” I shake my head, unwilling to voice it.

“They won’t hurt you. They can’t.”

“Not physically, but they could turn on me. They could hate me.”

He tilts his head. “Meredith doesn’t hate vampires. I don’t get that sense. A healthy mistrust—which is smart, really—but not hate.”

“No, but she wouldn’t trust me anymore. She’d take away my lab. I wouldn’t even have a job anymore.”

He smiles. “You don’t need a job, darling. You have me and my wealth. You’ll have your own lab, the largest in the city. In the world. I’ll be your provider, your lover, your protector, until the sun dies and the earth grows cold and everything ceases to breathe.”

My heart flutters with budding hope. “Why, Elias? Why me?”

“Why not you? We make a good team, don’t we?”

“I guess.”

“We’re compatible in all the ways that matter. More importantly, you don’t bore me. Your heart is open and pure, untainted and unjaded by centuries of enduring. With you, everything is new again. We can see the world together, Geordi, a thousand times over, until we’re bored again.”

“And then what?”

“We’ll find new things to see and do. I’ve waited a long time for a suitable companion. A lover who invades my thoughts andsteals my composure. A treasure all for me to hoard. Say the word and I’ll finish the transformation your father tried to start.”

Pleasant warmth spreads through my chest, drawing me closer to Elias. There’s not a single cell of my body trying to fight this, and now I know why. I understand all my reactions to him.

“What will you do to me?”

“Feed you, my love.” He cups my cheek. “Imbue your blood with mine, until we are one and the same, and your mortality is only a memory. You’re halfway there. Are you hungry for me, Geordi? As ravenous for me as I am for you? I have everything I could ever want except an eternity with you. In return for your soul, I’ll give you everything in my power.” He brushes his thumb across my lips. “Even my heart if you want it.”

“How do I know…” The words are so soft I wonder if I even said them.

---