Page 29 of Thicker than Blood
Elias looks concerned as he leans toward me. “What’s happening? Adverse effect?”
I scrub a hand over my face before I look at my watch. “Seven minutes.” I scoff. “This wasn’t the intended result.”
“Explain it to me, please?”
I stand and pace in a small circle to gather my thoughts and get my bearings again. “I think the vaccine worked, but only for a few seconds. I was obviously under your thrall.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“But then it was just gone. Not a slow fade or anything. It was like a light switch. Boom.”
“I see.”
“And I was aware the whole time but unable to resist it.”
“From my perspective it was different as well.”
“What do you mean?”
“Earlier, before the vaccine, I told you I felt a resistance in you that is unusual.”
“Yes.”
“This time, I sensed my compulsion was having a unique effect on you.”
“In what way?”
“Vampire compulsion works by stripping a mortal of any free will.”
“Right.”
“With you, it was more like unlocking a box you’ve kept tucked away, filled with all your truest desires and wishes. Instead of masking your free will, I gave you permission to seek what you want the most. I removed your inhibitions, I didn’t override your will.”
“You mean…” The truth in his words hits me hard and I sink into an armchair. “You weren’tmakingme want anything. I already wanted it.”
He nods, smiling softly. “Yes.”
Well fuck a duck and call me yellow.
“This disturbs you?”
“No. Why would it disturb me, Elias? No big deal finding out that the vaccine I created to prevent compulsion unlocks its power even more. I made myselfmorevulnerable, not less.”
“Did you know?”
“Know what?”
“About your vampire fixation?”
Now I roll my eyes. “I research vampires for a living. I’m pretty aware, yeah.”
He chuckles. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
Right. He knows I want to have a sex with him. Super.
“You follow the rules because you’re a good person. You want to obey authority because you see benefit in it. You’ve never allowed yourself to follow your desires.”
Swallowing hard, I sit in stony silence. There’s a much deeper reason I won’t give in to my weird little kink.
