Page 29 of Thicker than Blood

Elias looks concerned as he leans toward me. “What’s happening? Adverse effect?”

I scrub a hand over my face before I look at my watch. “Seven minutes.” I scoff. “This wasn’t the intended result.”

“Explain it to me, please?”

I stand and pace in a small circle to gather my thoughts and get my bearings again. “I think the vaccine worked, but only for a few seconds. I was obviously under your thrall.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“But then it was just gone. Not a slow fade or anything. It was like a light switch. Boom.”

“I see.”

“And I was aware the whole time but unable to resist it.”

“From my perspective it was different as well.”

“What do you mean?”

“Earlier, before the vaccine, I told you I felt a resistance in you that is unusual.”

“Yes.”

“This time, I sensed my compulsion was having a unique effect on you.”

“In what way?”

“Vampire compulsion works by stripping a mortal of any free will.”

“Right.”

“With you, it was more like unlocking a box you’ve kept tucked away, filled with all your truest desires and wishes. Instead of masking your free will, I gave you permission to seek what you want the most. I removed your inhibitions, I didn’t override your will.”

“You mean…” The truth in his words hits me hard and I sink into an armchair. “You weren’tmakingme want anything. I already wanted it.”

He nods, smiling softly. “Yes.”

Well fuck a duck and call me yellow.

“This disturbs you?”

“No. Why would it disturb me, Elias? No big deal finding out that the vaccine I created to prevent compulsion unlocks its power even more. I made myselfmorevulnerable, not less.”

“Did you know?”

“Know what?”

“About your vampire fixation?”

Now I roll my eyes. “I research vampires for a living. I’m pretty aware, yeah.”

He chuckles. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Right. He knows I want to have a sex with him. Super.

“You follow the rules because you’re a good person. You want to obey authority because you see benefit in it. You’ve never allowed yourself to follow your desires.”

Swallowing hard, I sit in stony silence. There’s a much deeper reason I won’t give in to my weird little kink.

---