He gives me a disdainful look. “That was a cheap trick.”

I glower at him. “How can I apologize for being an asshole when you avoid me?”

“I wasn’t avoiding you,” he says unconvincingly.

“You weren’t?” I drawl. “So does that mean you were temporarily deaf when I screamed your name a few moments ago?”

He stares at me. “Is this the tone you’ll be using to apologize? Doesn’t sound very apologetic to me.”

I pull him down to the ground beside me. “Here, have a chicken breast.”

“No thanks,” Alex refuses bluntly.

He’s about to get up, when I grab his hand and pull him back down. “Alex, I want to apologize. Why won’t you let me?”

“An apology is ‘I am sorry’,” he says, calmly. “Not offering me food another man brought you.”

“You’re right.” I get to my feet, facing him. “I’m sorry for lashing out at you three days ago. I shouldn’t have done that. I know I can be unreasonable at times and I get mad at you a lot. I’m sorry for that.”

“I’m not upset that you lashed out at me, Sophia.” Alex pulls a twig from my hair before inspecting my burned fingertips. “I’m not upset at all. What I am is very worried about you. I know you’re not going to like what I say, but are you prepared for the possibility that you might not be able to save your mother?”

I drop his hands instantly, my body turning stiff.

“No!” he growls. “This is what I mean. Stop doing this!”

His hands seize me by the shoulders. “Sophia…”

“I can’t give up on her!” I push his hands off me, wrapping my arms around myself, my body feeling cold. “You can’t…don’t ask me to consider that.”

“You told Cyrus…”

“Those were just words!” I burst out passionately. “Everybody has given up on her, Alex! Everybody! She waited all those years for somebody to show up and rescue her. Nobody showed up. Nobody protected her. I can’t give up on her! And if I fail,” my body shudders, “I won’t be able to forgive myself. I can’t let her down. I’m the only one she can rely on now.”

Alex grips me when I stumble back and I look at him, my heart feeling raw. “I know…I know I lashed out at you and I got mad at you. None of this is your fault. I was just hurting and I wanted somebody to feel an ounce of my pain. All my life, whenever things went bad, or I was hitting rock bottom, there was no one I could lean on. I always thought if I let anyone see how hard things were, they would leave. I didn’t have anybody who wanted me, so I was just desperate to hold onto the people who had not thrown me away.”

I bite my tongue, feeling too vulnerable, a vicious fear sweeping within me. Have I finally managed to drive him away? Was I too careless with him? I knew I shouldn’t have…

The darkest thoughts and fears that I have begin to fester somewhere deep inside me. I had begun to trust Alex’s heart, but my doubts are now rearing their ugly faces and I feel terrified. “What have I done? I…I became too comfortable. I should never have thought…I should never have believed…”

“Stop!” Alex growls, furiously, giving me a rough shake. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop!”

I just look at him, unable to speak, the storm raging inside tearing me to shreds.

What have I done?

I should’ve been careful.

I shouldn’t have shown him how I felt.

These thoughts are slashing my heart to pieces, bit by bit.

That’s why he’s been avoiding me. He got tired. Who wouldn’t?

“Sophia, sweetheart, stop,” Alex begs me, but I’m retreating into myself, the darkness consuming me steadily.

Is he going to leave me?

Am I going to be abandoned?