Page 111 of Shadow Kissed

“Well, you healed your friend from a mutt bite and the mutts protected you. I also asked Jasiel to dig into your mother’s past after I found this in her workshop.” He leaves me to walk over to a bureau and retrieves something from inside. He comes back over to sit next to me on the side of the bed and holds out a small black notebook. Confused, I take it from him and when I open it, I recognise my mother’s handwriting.

“It’s like a guidebook to Asen. She made notes of everything from the currency to ways of speaking and dressing, to holidays and traditions. She was trying to learn as much as she could so that she could blend in.”

I flick through the pages and seeing her handwriting brings me such comfort. “How was she here in Asen? Do you suppose her parents found a way to escape before the realm closed?”

He reaches for my hand again and strokes his thumb in circles on my wrist, distracting me from our conversation. “Terror, there is no easy way for me to say this, but it was your mum that came to Asen around a hundred years ago. For her to have travelled to another realm, one which had no open gateway would have taken tremendous power. The type of power of a royal.”

“ABD,” I say aloud and Raegal tilts his head at me. “When I was packing to leave for the valley, I found a handkerchief hidden in a drawer. It had the emblem of the night realm on it with the initials ABD embroidered on it.”

“Asterin Briar Darkhand,” Raegal says, blowing out a long breath. “The heiress to the throne.”

“Wow, okay,” I exclaim. “Saveya and I suspected that could be the case.”

Raegal’s eyebrows arch. “Saveya knows?”

I nod my head. “I had to share my suspicions with someone, and she helped me research in the library.”

“Eretreya, what were you doing out in the forest last night?” he asks me again and I swallow nervously.

“I had to confirm my suspicions once and for all,” I tell him. “I knew one way to do that was to find the mutts and see how they react to me.”

His jaw tics and he remains silent before he leans in and softly grips my chin with his hand. “You realise how dangerous that was? They could have killed you, Terror, and I wouldn’t have been able to save you.”

I watch the look of fear cross his face. This is a man who fears nothing.Why does he care anyway?

“What would it matter to you?” I ask him and he flinches as if I’ve struck him. He leans in closer, and I gulp, my heart pounding at his nearness, those lips just a breath away from mine.

“It matters because you’re mine, Eretreya Briar Lockwood,” he says it with such conviction and possessiveness, and it should irk me, but it has my heart doing cartwheels in my chest.

“I’m not yours,” I protest weakly, glaring at him.

He smirks and he reaches for my waist, sitting me on his lap before I have a chance to protest. He takes my face in his hands, forcing me to focus on him.

“Lie to yourself if you want, Terror, but we both have sensed this visceral connection since the moment we met. You crave my closeness, just as I crave yours. You are aware of my presence when I enter a room without even needing to see me. My caress sets alight a fever inside you that can’t be tamed and when we fuck, it’s like nothing else in the world matters but that moment between us. You’re mine, Terror, and you need to accept it.” He reaches for my wrist and turns it upright. “This mark on your wrist was my shadows trying to mark you as mine, because they knew before I did that you are my true blessed mate.”

I suck in a breath as my heart pounds in my chest. “You marked me?”

He chuckles. “Trust you to focus on that. Yes, I marked you and when I claim you as mine, I’ll place my mark on you, and no one will ever doubt that you’re mine. There is nothing and no one that will keep you from me.”

“I’m not your mate,” I argue. “There is no way the gods would have placed us together.”

He smirks as he cups the back of my neck and pulls me closer, running his lips softly over mine. “It is ironic. It appears they may have a twisted sense of humour.” He coaxes my mouth open, and I try to resist him. I really do, but it’s like trying to resist breathing. I lean into him and kiss him back. He is right. Nothing compares to this. But how can I be with him when I’m plotting to take down his people? How can I sit here and let him kiss me when I plan to assassinate the royal prince he serves?

“Stop,” I whisper against his lips, and we pull apart, our chests heaving. “I can’t do this. I want you, but it’s just physical. There is nothing deeper between us.” I remove his hands from my waist and climb off him, needing to put some distance between us. “I need to see Saveya.”

I can feel his eyes on me, and I can’t bring myself to make eye contact with him, because if I do, I know I’ll find myself back in his arms before logic can prevail.

“I’ll take you to her, but first you need to eat and replenish. You brought someone back from certain death last night and your energy stores are depleted. Why was she with you last night?”

I walk over towards the large balcony doors and stare across the valley. “It is my belief that she followed me out there.”

I feel him come up behind me and I tense. His scent surrounding me and muddling my thoughts. My body aches to lean back into him.

“But you were here at the barracks, and she was at the mansion,” he says, and I choose not to respond, because I don’t have an answer for him. I need to speak to Saveya first and find out why she was out there by herself last night.

“I’ll ask for breakfast to be brought up,” he says, touching my waist before he leaves me in peace. I place my hand on my chest to steady my beating heart. His words have left me in a state of great confusion. How can I be his mate? Does this mean at the reaping he will pick me? What if someone else chooses me before he gets the chance to? The idea of someone else choosing me sends a chill down my spine. Did I want to be with Raegal? If he chooses me, we’ll get married, and I’ll be his forever.

Raegal takes me to visit Saveya a short while later and although she looks pale, she’s sitting up in bed and smiling when we enter her private room within the army infirmary.

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