Page 39 of Girl, Haunted

Ella was already at the curtain. ‘I don’t care if I ruin Christmas. If you can’t get Roland out, I will.’ She plunged through the curtain into the maze and received a sensory sledgehammer for her efforts. Strobe lights, machine fog, a low bass chug that vibrated through the floorboards. The only reprieve was that this room – some kind of tacky graveyard – was mercifully empty.

‘Clear,’ Luca said. They charged towards the only exit, a door plastered with biohazard symbols. They stumbled into what looked like a mad scientist's wet dream. Beakers of neon goop bubbled ominously. A prop cadaver lay splayed on an operating table with its chest cavity spilling silicon guts.

Suddenly, a figure leaped out from behind a rusted autoclave. The guy was done up like a demented Doc Brown, complete with a white wig and blood-spattered lab coat. He brandished a comically large syringe filled with glowing green liquid.

‘Ah, fresh meat,’ the man cackled. He waggled his eyebrows like a pair of squirming caterpillars. ‘Ready for your procedures?’

Ella flashed her badge. ‘Not now. We’re looking for Roland Pierce. Where is he?’

The actor's manic grin faltered, and sanity crept back into his eyes. 'Roland? Nightmare Forest. A few zones ahead. Is this a new bit, or…?'

‘No.’

‘Oh. The guy in the next room can direct you to him.’

‘Thanks.’ Ella burst into the next room – some kind of apocalyptic fever dream judging by the props. The walls were plastered with radiation symbols and battered hazmat suits hung from hooks like deflated yellow ghosts. A second later, a figure loomed out of the artificial fog, decked out in full containment gear.

‘This area's off-limits! Choose your path wisely, or suffer the consequences of…’

‘Roland Pierce. Can you point us to him?’ Ella interrupted. Her patience was already thinner than gas station toilet paper. She saw two doors leading out of this place, neither of which were signposted.

‘Who is this Roland Pierce? We have no names in Apocalyptic City,’ he asked in his best maniac voice. There were no Oscar nominations in his future.

‘Quit the games,’ said Luca. ‘Which door leads to Roland?’

‘Foolish mortals! Your fate lies behind one of these doors. Choose poorly, and…’

Ella moved faster than a bullet with somewhere to be. In a blink, she had the guy's arm twisted behind his back. The hazmat mask clattered to the floor, revealing a pimply kid who looked barely old enough to buy cigarettes.

‘Jesus lady, what the hell?’

‘Which. Door.’

‘That one!’ He pointed to the left-hand door with his free hand. Ella let him go and brushed him down.

‘Thank you.’

Luca was already at the door. He yanked it open, and then he and Ella stepped into room number three. Some kind of toymaster's workshop. Garish neon teddy bears with green eyes. Half-assembled toys hanging from hooks. Oversized building blocks, creating an obstacle course on the ground.

And in the middle of it all, a gaggle of punters giggling like asylum escapees.

Ella and Luca’s arrival drew their attention.

‘FBI! Everyone remain calm!’ Ella bellowed. But her words were lost in the electronic thump of hidden speakers and the shrieks of over-stimulated thrill-seekers.

A girl ran over and clutched at Ella’s sleeve. Her mascara was running down her face. ‘Are you guys like, apocalyptic cops?’

Another shouted, ‘Those guns look so real.’

‘We're not part of the show,’ Luca said. ‘This is legit. Everyone stay put.’

Confused murmurs rippled through the group. Then a guy shouted, ‘That’s exactly what an actor in here would say. These guys are part of a secret scare, I guarantee it.’

Ella tried not to roll her eyes. ‘Maybe we are,’ she said. ‘Wait here a second while we check for threats.’

She skirted past the group and made her way towards the only other door in the room. Luca joined her and whispered, ‘Good approach.’

'More flies with honey than vinegar.' She shouldered the door open, and the Nightmare Forest came into view. It was like stepping into a Dali painting that had been left out in the rain. Warped, blacklight-reactive trees loomed overhead and neon-bright flowers sprouted from the astroturf, pulsing in time with a throbbing electronic beat coming from somewhere. In the distance, a giant caterpillar with a human face undulated with kaleidoscope eyes spinning in opposite directions.

---