Page 25 of Reuniting with the Rancher

“All the letters I never wrote,” Lily whispered as she took Ivy’s face in her hands, wiping the tears that streamed down her sweet girl’s face. “Tattooed in my heart for you. All the heartbeats I ever felt. Anchored me to you.”

“I’m anchored, safe somewhere with you,” Ivy whispered back. “Somewhere in my dreams, I’m anchored to you.”

12

BLACKBIRD

GREYSON - A WEEK LATER

Greyson stoodat the edge of Lily’s living room, scratching his growing in beard.

It gave him something to do with his hands as he watched Lily fuss over the kids. It had become their evening routine.

Ivy curled up on the couch next to Caleb, her eyes drinking in her mother’s every step, like she was afraid she’d disappear. Caleb kept distracting her, showing her how to play different chords, patiently adjusting her fingers and encouraging his little cousin.

They’d eaten every meal together, gone for long walks and horseback rides with all four of them or different configurations of their…family? Greyson didn’t know where he and Lily stood and for the kids, she was her usual self, but there was distance and awkwardness whenever they were alone. He decided to get time with Lily soon. The distance killed him and he knew she was hurting too.

Ivy tried to sing along with a higher note and Lily sat on the coffee table in front of her, pressing her hand to Ivy’s belly and the note came out stronger and louder. Ivy’s eyes popped insurprise and a smile lit up her face. “Is that how you learned to sing?”

“Sweet love, I was born singin’, but Iworkedon getting better and it all starts here.” she placed her hand on Ivy’s torso again. “Beyonce used to run in heels singing - or at least that’s the way the story goes. Pink says she sings better upside-down swinging in the air. Two things they have in common? Breath control and knowing how to use their diaphragm. It helps outside of singing too - when you’re anxious or scared, or excited, controlling your breathing can help even you out.”

“How about one song?” Greyson asked gently, his voice coaxing but careful, trying not to push too hard. “Just for us, Songbird. No audience, no pressure.”

Ivy had hinted at this earlier, wanting to hear Lily’s voice, even if just for a moment. The silence in the room thickened as Lily shifted uncomfortably. Her fingers twisted the edge of Ivy’s blanket, and she shook her head slightly.

Caleb leaned in, whispering something to Ivy, and she smiled weakly before speaking.

“It’s okay,” she mumbled, not waiting for a response as she quickly got up.

Greyson rubbed the back of his neck, tension creeping up his spine. He reminded himself to give Lily room to navigate this.

“No, wait Ivy,” she reached out to stop her. “I’ve asked you to trust me to show you who I am and so I’m going to trust you with really sensitive information… I don’t know if I can sing,” she finally said, her voice dropping to almost nothing before she cleared her throat and powered on.

Greyson frowned, confusion flickering across his face, the same look reflected in Ivy’s. “What do you mean? Is it just nerves?”

Lily shook her head, her eyes on Ivy, her hand reaching for her Boogie Bear. “When my tour bus crashed... My sissyMarigold, and I were trapped inside. She was badly hurt and asked me to sing her to sleep and I did… I screamed for help and sang for her over and over for hours. Physically, they don’t know if my throat will recover. Up here,” she tapped her head, “and here,” she tapped her heart, “I don’t know ifthatwill ever heal. I lost,welost,” she nodded to Caleb, who sat quietly staring at her, “big parts of us that night.”

Greyson felt the weight of Lily’s words crash down on him, his breath hitching as he processed the horror of it. He wanted to deny it, to make it better, but the truth hung heavy in the air. Her beautiful voice, a voice that brought him to tears many times before…Gone?

“Songbird,” he whispered.

Lily sucked in a deep breath and shrugged. “More surgeries could work or… make it worse. Every time I open my mouth to even hum, my voice just disappears. I’d sing you to the moon and back Ivy if I could.”

Ivy slid off the couch and wrapped her arms around Lily. “Thank you for trusting me, Mom.” Lily played with Ivy’s fingers before bringing them to her lips to kiss.

Caleb starting picking out tunes quietly on the guitar, landing on Blackbird by the Beatles. Grey felt his throat tighten before he cleared it and started singing the song, with Ivy and Caleb joining in.

It was a song Mari and Lily loved, singing it daily to put Caleb to bed back in the day. Lily sang the same song to Ivy in the womb, and he didn’t have the heart to stop after she was born.

He sat next to her on the coffee table, grimacing when it groaned under his weight and took her hand in his. As they all sat together, the wind howling softly in the distance, Grey saw etched in her eyes all she’d had been through. The ghosts of her trauma swimming just behind like his own. His love for her, that constant swirling sea, swelled inside and crashed over him.

When they finished singing, he took her hand like she’d taken Ivy’s and kissed it, placing it on his thigh.

“Boogie, lemme see that,” he said, reaching out for the guitar. He fumbled a bit with position and made adjustments to compensate for his tighter muscles.

“You still play?” Lily looked at him in wonder.

He nodded. “There is a reason I looked for a music therapist for the kids. There’s something about pouring into the notes…” And he started to sing “Iris.”

---