Page 54 of Not Your Hero

“How did they look at you?”

“Like I was a monster. Like the monster I am,” he says sounding a little sad about it. I scoot over close enough that I can touch him, and as soon as my hand lands on his chest, his hand flies up to cover it. At first, I thought he was going to push me away, and maybe that’s what was going through his head, but instead, he kept his hand wrapped around mine.

“You’re not a monster. Things, bad things happened to you, Gannix.”

“You think killing women doesn’t make me a monster?” he asks, turning his head to look at me.

“I think your father made you the way you are. That doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it,” I tell him.

“I’ve thought about that too. If there are no other women, then I’d have no one to kill.”

“What do you mean?”

“I want you, Emerson. You’re the only one I want,” he explains, and my heart leaps into my throat.

“Do you honestly think this is going to work?”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

“For one, you stalked me. You sold my house,” I say when he cuts me off.

“Which you no longer need.”

“Because your brother kidnapped me,” I add.

“Maybe I planned on doing the same.”

“Did you?”

“The thought had occurred to me.”

“Let’s just forget about that for now. The fact you don’t know me and the way I am …” I can’t finish that sentence. I don’t know if I like the way I am anymore. I thought I did. I thought I could live with fucking random men, but the more I think about it, the more ashamed I feel. Shouldn’t I want a husband at some point? Shouldn’t I want to settle down and live a good life?

“You’re perfect the way you are, Em. And I do know you. I know how your mother treated you. I know how you are with men, but you don’t need that anymore. Anything you want, anytime you want it, is right here.”

“Are you going to continue to hide from me?” Now, he lets out another long sigh.

“I can’t say I’m comfortable with all this just yet.”

“But you think I am?”

“No, I don’t think you are either, but this is it. This is the rest of our lives, Emerson.” The way he says it makes it all seem so final. I don’t know much about Gannix. I don’t know much about his life, but I do know that even though there are things wrong with him mentally. Somewhere in him, he has a good heart, even if it is a little blackened.

“I don’t know about that,” I mumble. Gannix laughs an actual laugh before releasing my hand and sitting up next to me.

“This is all new to both of us. I don’t bring women home. I haven’t slept with anyone except you since the day I laid eyes on you,” he confesses.

“How long ago was that? That you first saw me?”

“Three years ago. You were dancing in the rain outside your house. You were smiling like you didn’t have a care in the world.”

“Three years?”

“Yes. You were wearing a low-cut dress. You had just gotten home from the club as the sun was beginning to rise. I wondered what you did in between times that you were getting home that late, but I watched you.”

“I wasn’t smiling.”

“What?”