Page 31 of Not Your Hero

“It’s going to hurt.”

“I’ve been hurt worse,” I whisper. Nix nods his head, although his jaw ticks with tension.

The doctor moves around the bed and stitches my shoulder as the tears keep running down my face. I don’t know how I’m crying this much. I don’t know how I have anything left in me to cry.

My chest aches, my body screams in pain. I’m exhausted. I feel like I haven’t slept in years. My eyes keep trying to close on their own accord, but I pry them back open. Every time I do, I see Nix staring at me. If I had more strength, I’d ask him what the fuck he’s looking at, but I don’t. Instead we continue to stare each other down until I just can’t do it anymore. My eyes close, and I let sleep pull me under.

Chapter 19

Gannix

I’ve watched her, and I’m still watching her. Ron told me he would come back and change the IV bags and antibiotics, but I told him I could handle that myself. That doesn’t mean he isn’t going to show up and see for himself. That’s why I like Ron.

“You doing okay?” Ren asks me as he comes to sit next to me on my bed.

“I don’t fucking know, Ren. He hasn’t even called me. He has to know I’m gone by now,” I tell him. Gary has made no attempt to call me or text me, which I find very strange.

“I’m guessing he’s pissed,” he says.

“I stole her back, Ren. He’s more than pissed. She was supposed to be dead,” I remind him. Ren knows now. I confided in him. Told him the things they made us do, that we still do, but I didn’t tell him everything. Just the parts he needed to know to understand what the hell was happening.

“I’m not going to pretend to understand the shit you’re into, Nix. I’m truly shocked by what you told me, to be honest, but you did the right thing taking her.”

“You think so?” I ask, glancing over at him.

“Yeah, I think so. She didn’t deserve to die for something she knew nothing about. Not that the others did, but …” he trails off. I reach up and scrub my hand over my face wondering what the fuck to do now.

“He’s going to come looking for her at some point.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, I do. He doesn’t leave a stone unturned if you know what I mean. He isn’t going to let this go.”

“What do you want to do then?” Ren asks me. I shrug. I honestly don’t know.

“I’m not letting him have her, that I do know.”

“I wouldn’t either. We can up security here,” he suggests as I nod.

“Let’s do that for now. I need to rest, and I know she needs it.”

“What is it about her?” he asks, nodding toward where Emerson sleeps soundly.

“I don’t know, to be honest. I’ve tried to figure that out myself. There’s nothing notable about her, Ren, so why the hell am I so attracted to her?”

“There’s something there that pulled you in. I’m wondering if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,” he adds. I look over at him now.

“What do you mean?”

“I thought I knew you, Nix. I know you like dark things sexually, but what you truly do?” he shakes his head. “I don’t know how that girl plays into it.”

“You think I don’t know how fucked up this is? How fucked up I am?”

“I don’t know, Gannix. You went there to hunt women,” he responds as I shove off the bed and stand to my feet. I tug at my hair, understanding where he’s coming from.

“You didn’t grow up the way we did. This is all we’ve known. It was ingrained in us since we were kids, Ren. Killing them for something bigger than us.”

“Which is?” he asks. No, he challenges, and I have no answer for him. I truly don’t know because nothing good has ever come out of this.

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