Page 45 of Twister

He nodded again. “I get that, babe, and the solution seems too easy.”

“It is easy and it’s always the answer. You can be whoever you want to be. Feel what you want to feel and move forward out of this trap. You know how to deal with it. You hit it head-on like you always do.”

“I understand that trapping my emotions, feelings, and needs beneath a wall of impenetrable armor doesn’t work. The mind finds a way to make you see what you’re missing, and I was missing so much, Sadie, by thinking that my life could only be defined by my service to a cause. What I was missing, what I was craving, what I needed…was this. You. It was a lost, precious, and intricate piece of the puzzle.”

He moved his body, and she snuggled closer to him. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

“Fuck, yeah!”

“All I want is for you to be just you because I really, really like that guy a lot.”

“Woman, you’re killing me.” She was untangling him down to his basics, stacking his building blocks for him within reach, and all he had to do was rebuild himself into the man he wanted to be, needed to be…for himself, for his father, and for her. Shifting her head, he covered her mouth in a deeply grateful kiss, and she opened to him, her mouth moving against his with a soft, soothing sweetness that squeezed his already battered heart.

“Yeah?” he said, possibilities and options flashing through his mind like bright lights. His heart rate was going really berserk and a crazy kind of hope was taking hold, and he grasped it with both hands. He should be careful, but a huge feeling burst in his chest, that same unbearable lightness zipping through him whenever he thought of being with Sadie full-time. To hell with caution. It was now, and he hoped it would be forever. “Enough to maybe see where this is going to go? Beyond Bali?”

“What?” she asked, her voice a slightly higher octave.

15

Twister’s wordsknifed through her, especially that note of hope in his voice and the warm glimmer in his unique eyes. This man…this amazing man of his caliber wanted her in his life, and that was the first time she’d ever felt humbled by another person. She wanted to rise to the level of her best self in order to be his equal in a partnership with him. Right now, this minute, she wasn’t there. She acknowledged that with some deep pain.

“Sadie?” he said, that note of hope wavering, and her heart squeezed so hard. The thought of hurting Twister made her feel charred inside. She looked at him, and he held her gaze for just a moment, a flicker of hesitancy in his eyes.

“Shane,” she said, her throat constricted.

Bracing his back against the headboard, he reached over and turned on the light, then angled his body so that they were face to face. “Talk to me, babe.” His eyes narrowed a fraction, and he stared at her, his gaze suddenly dark and serious. “I’ve got all these scenarios running through my head.”

She made a soft sound, trying to comfort him with her eyes. He reached out, brushing the loose wisps of hair from around her face, then drew her toward him. She tried to brace herselffor what she had to say, but nothing was going to soften the hard, cold reality of her words. “My first instinct is to agree wholeheartedly, jump at the chance to be with you for the long term, but all that you’ve brought out in me recently is putting up a strong roadblock.”

Twister’s mouth tightened in disappointment, and she so wanted to backpedal, but she couldn’t. It was too important for both of them.

“So the answer is…no?”

“No. God, no,” she said in a rush. His expression somber, he reached out and took her hand. Grateful for that one small gesture, Sadie locked her jaw against the intense ache filling her chest, her eyes welling up. Tightening her fingers around his in a death grip, she nearly broke down when he folded her hand between both of his. His head bent, he rubbed his thumb across her fingers in solemn preoccupation.

“Maybe you can explain to me what it is then. I’m not going to sugar-coat how I feel about you to ease any of this between us. I’m an all-in kind of guy. That’s the bottom line. I might be a juggernaut when it comes to most things, but with you, I find that I have an infinite amount of patience. I want you to feel good about this. So tell me how you’re feeling, and do me a favor. Don’t fucking sugar-coat it for me. I don’t need that shit. I take everything straight.”

His response released so much tension in her body and mind that her heart was suddenly too big for her chest. He cared about her. He truly did, putting her before his own desires, leaving her free to sort through all this morass, not exactly alone, but there was some breathing room. He had truly discovered himself, and that made her so happy and eager to get to the bottom of her own issues and problems, so she could reach for the life she wanted.

She slid her arms around him and hugged him hard. She hung on to him another moment. Then, she physically pulled herself together. He had so earned her trust and an explanation.

“You’ll take it straight…” she said, her tone wry.

He chuckled and gave her a tight squeeze. “Just spill, woman, and spare me.”

She sighed and said, “I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that I adore men who say what they think and are straightforward about it. It’s refreshing and very sexy.”

“Sexy? I’m just being me.”

“Yeah,exactly. You’re so confident…that’s sexy.” She sighed and ran her hand down his bare chest, loving the feel of him. “It’s not a full-blown wall, but just something to make me stop and think before I leap…” She took a hard breath. “And I want to leap right into your offer. But I want to make sure that I’m not trying to please you, sacrifice my own feelings and needs to fulfill yours.”

She was weak right now. So weak. She thought she loved him, but she wanted to make damn sure it wasn’t because he’d needed her so intensely and that, in turn, fed her desire to be needed.

“Ah, so you just need time, then, to figure this all out.”

“Yes, that’s all.”

“Hmm, that’s all.” He turned that gorgeous torso of his and turned off the light. “Then we better get some sleep.” A thousand feelings washed through her, and she sagged against him, her face pressed to his neck. Twister stroked her back, molding her closer, his touch firm and reassuring. “We’ve got to get back to it tomorrow, and you’ve got some thinking to do. But not tonight, Sadie. Just relax and let it all be for now.”

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