Page 37 of Twister

“Yes, we were there. Things got dicey between the government and the ambassador. We took refuge in the embassy, preparing to withdraw, when the earthquake hit.” He swallowed and stared at the ceiling. She could feel him trembling beneath her. He covered his eyes with his arm, his tone going soft, almost indecipherable. “It shook the embassy and part of the building sheared off, and I was buried under the rubble.”

The ache in her throat nearly suffocated her, and she gently took his hand in hers and drew his arm down. Heaving a heavy sigh, he looked at her, a desolate look in his eyes. His voice was quiet, almost devoid of emotion when he continued. “The Haitians were devastated, but there was some discord amongst the younger people, and one of them came to the embassy, and when the doc came out to treat me once my team cleared the debris, he was shot and killed.”

“I saw that on the news. How devastating.”

He nodded. “That left us without a surgeon, and although my dislocated shoulder was easily but painfully reset in the socket, my internal bleeding couldn’t be addressed.”

“Right. You’re the medic.”

He nodded. “So, my CO made the decision to brave the six miles to the airport to get me flown out to Gitmo. They ran all the way, braved hostility and danger to save my life, and barely got me there in time.” He exhaled sharply and began to absently caress the back of her hand with his thumb, his face looking more haggard with each passing moment. “I felt myself slipping away, and in that moment, it hit home how very fragile life really is and that this could be it for me. Then I blacked out.”

He rubbed at his eyes, and she could see he was struggling with the emotion of that memory. “I can’t stop thinking howmuch I squandered, and if something had happened to any of my brothers…” He trailed off, his voice gruff.

She stiffened, annoyance flicked through her, and her chin came up. Swearing under her breath, she said, “Are you saying you weren’t worth all that effort? Is that what I’m hearing?”

His face carved by shame, he displaced her and got out of bed, his hard body pacing away from her to the window. He jammed his hands on the sill, trying to level out his rapid breathing. Finally, he exhaled sharply and turned to face her, his voice breaking. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“That is the biggest crock of bullcrap I have ever heard. You have to know that, Shane. Seriously. I’ve seen you in action, and I’ve felt you all around me. You are worth all the effort, monumental effort. People in the Navy have no qualms about giving their lives for others.”

“What are you saying? You’d die for me?”

Her breath suddenly wouldn’t come. “Yes, absolutely. You would be completely worth saving.”

He stared at her for a moment, then turned his back to her, bracing his hand against the sill again, his rib cage expanding and contracting. A taut silence hung between them, then he finally said, his voice raw and strained. “God, I need to hear that.”

“They value you, Shane. You have their backs, all the time, and when they need you, you’re their healer, the man who would do anything to save each of them. They are aware of what you have given because they have already given it as well. Don’t you dare sell yourself short because you haven’t figured something out.”

Twister bent his head and dragged his hand across his eyes, then inhaled raggedly. “I’ve felt so disconnected for so long, but I feel that I’m finally understanding some things.”

She couldn’t stand it any longer. She slipped out of bed and closed the gap between them in long strides. Catching him by the back of the head, Sadie closed her eyes and hung on to him, her heart squeezing tight in her chest, unable to hold back anything she felt for this man, so dangerously close to falling for him in ways that she’d never allowed herself to give to any man, fear keeping her heart bound. But he crossed so many of her boundaries without hardly any effort, just by being who he was.

Finding the answers to impossible questions took some major soul-searching. He seemed to have already started that kind of journey, and she had to admit that he was the catalyst that was making her examine quite a few of her own issues. With a soft, male sound, he shifted her head back and found her mouth, his savage kiss tasting of tears and pain and fear-driven desperation. He was harboring something painful, something raw, consuming, something that was connected to why he felt he wasn’t worthy of what his teammates had done for him.

He dragged his hand up her back, molding them together in a crushing hold, his other hand immobilizing her head as his mouth turned hot, hungry, and ravaging. He pushed her back to the bed, and they fell together, lost in each other.

After the storm was over and their bodies had cooled, they clung to each other.

“Maybe something about the experience triggered something inside me.”

“What kind of things?”

He sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know…helplessness for one.”

“Loss of control can be very scary,” she whispered. “Anyone who has gone through the kind of training we go through, and then deal with on a daily basis, understands that.”

He nodded. “I feel that this is some kind of cosmic wake-up call.”

“Who, me?”

“Yes,” he said, turning his body against hers, dragging her into the cradle of his arms, and burying his face against her neck. “You are doing things to me that I can barely understand, but I know this thing between us is stronger than anything I’ve ever experienced with a woman. I hope that’s not too scary, Sadie. I don’t want to fuck this up.”

Sadie grasped him just as tightly, feeling that she was the glue that was holding him together now. A tremor coursed through him, and he cupped her head so gently, holding her with an all-encompassing strength.

“I feel the same way,” she said, drawing an unsteady breath, and ran her hand up his naked back.

“Thank God.” A jagged sigh escaped him, and he pressed a kiss against her neck, something profoundly poignant in the touch of his mouth against her. Her breath caught, and she dragged her fingers through his hair, cradling him against her with all her strength, feeling as if something miraculous had just happened.

Too spent to even discuss where this all might go, but knowing that Twister was open to that discussion as much as she was, they fell asleep.

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