Page 12 of For Her

We’re ushered inside where I get a hug from Tyler, and Jack gets the old macho back slap. Since they got married, he and my best friend, Annie, pooled their money together and got a new house with more space than what they were previously cramped into. They were busy moving in while we were on tour, so we hadn’t gotten to see it yet.

Tyler suggested we come over to see the place and relax with some football and food, and while my stomach is still being a douche, the relaxing and catching up with my bestie sounds like just the ticket. And I was thrilled that they insisted we come over in our lounge clothes.

His adorable baby girl, Zoe, sits on a blanket on the floor by the couch. She’s gnawing on a plastic squeaky giraffe, while Mr. Meowgi, their furry black cat, lounges on the blanket nearby, as if on guard.

“Come see how big the little one’s gotten,” Tyler says, as he makes his way over to the cat and baby, where the former squints his eyes up at him and hisses. Case in point. “Oh fuck off, Fluffy!” he barks at the feline who shows no response as Tyler scoops up his daughter and rolls his eyes.

“Ty!” I hear my best friend’s voice call from the kitchen.

“She doesn’t understand me yet,” he hollers back with an eye roll.

“I don’t care!”

He ignores her and instead lifts Zoe up so that they’re face to face.

“Mommy doesn’t like it when I swear. No she doesn’t,” he coos at her. “She thinks I’m going to turn you into a little sailor/trucker, but not my little princess.” He tucks her against his chest and starts gabbing with Jack about the bar. I rudely don’t ask for permission before I relieve him of Zoe and carry her into the kitchen so I can see her mommy. I find Annie in her comfies, throwing a Caesar salad together while the smell of a supreme pizza wafts from the oven.

“Oh my God, that smells so good,” I say to announce my presence. Not much appeals to me, but those smells are hitting just the right spot. Annie looks up and smiles, dropping the tongs in the salad bowl. “Hey, Mama,” I greet as she rushes over to me to wrap me and her daughter in a hug.

“Hey, Mama yourself,” she says when she pulls away and gives me a snicker, and I get a flash of the warm tinglies. “How are you feeling?” she asks as I settle on a stool with the baby in my lap.

“Pretty good,” I shrug, as I take a potato chip out of a nearby bowl. My stomach doesn’t seem to mind salt.

“Cut the crap, Maze. I can tell you really feel like shi-i-…take mushrooms…” she hesitantly mutters while her baby leans back to look up at me, reaching for the chip I’m trying to pop into my mouth, and all of a sudden, I’m hit with a wave of nausea.

“Oof,” I bring my fist to my lips trying to tamp it down. “Please don’t say mushrooms.”

“Ooh... I’m sorry babe,” Annie lets out a hiss through her teeth. “I’m trying not to curse,” she nods her head towards Zoe in my arms.

“You? Yeah, good luck with that,” I reply cynically, and make another attempt to pop the chip in my mouth.

Annie opens a package and hands her baby girl a wafer-like biscuit as she asks me more about the last doctor’s visit, before leading me on a tour of the new house. When we arrive in Zoe’s nursery that is decked out with an adorable baby animal theme with purples and yellows, she takes the baby from me and lays her down on the changing table.

“So what else is going on?”

“Well, it turns out that Jack is having a sympathetic pregnancy.”

“What is that?” she asks, looking over her shoulder as she grabs a diaper.

“Well, a few days after I told him about the pregnancy, he started not feeling well – really tired, uneasy stomach, and heartburn. I finally made him go to the doctor and they did a full workup and found nothing. The doctor concluded that his symptoms are mocking mine,” I finish with a shrug.

“Awwww,” her eyes crinkle with her squeal. “He loves you so much,” she muses before turning back to the task of changing her baby. “Yes he does, Uncle Jack loves Auntie Mayzie so much he’s pregnant too, yes he is.”

Jack

“When it comes to her personality, be ready for anything,” the wise and all-knowing pregnancy expert Tyler advises me from his chair.

While our ladies explore the new house, he and I have set up camp in his living room in front of the game. The place still has part of his style, combined with a woman’s touch, and accented by a few baby toys on the floor and a playpen in the corner. Just less than two years ago, I never would have pictured it.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about whacked out pregnancy hormones and the mood-swings they cause. Annie’s weren’t so bad, but they could change on a dime,” he further explains as he rests his beer bottle on his knee, twisting it by the neck as he seems to reminisce. “She could go from crying at a commercial one second to jumping my bones the next,” he smirks at the memory.

While Mayzie and I have a great sex life, I don’t hate the sound of the second part.

“Whatever ride she’s on, just get on it with her. If she’s being unreasonable, don’t argue. Trust me.”

“Good to know,” I say, taking a pull of my own beer.

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