Page 71 of Where You Are

“Back to your place,” she clarifies, taking a sip and looking away uncomfortably. She’s pulling away, only I don’t know why. I look around for the answer before turning my face back to her.

“Why?” I ask, helplessly.

“I don’t want to be led on, Matt.”

Whoa. What?

I sit back and let out a breath, welcoming her to bring on what is sure to be a shit show of a conversation.

“This last week has been wonderful,” she starts with, and a small shred of me takes note of how much stronger she already seems, while the rest of me is freaking out.

“You’ve been so wonderful, and supportive, and sweet. I love how you haven’t left my side, making sure I’m okay…”

She’s referring to how I’ve been staying here with her all day and night, and when I’m not helping her with the twins, or being nice to that thing that’s half alien-half canine, I’m touching her or holding her in some way. And she forgot to mention the naked cuddling.

“But…?” I tilt my head and gesture with my hand, willing her to stop torturing me and tell me what the problem is already. How am I leading her on?

“You haven’t kissed me,” she says simply, laying her hands in her lap.

Oh. That…

“I know we’ve been avoiding talking about it, but I know you know the whole story. You don’t have to stay here, day and night, being wonderfulyou, out of some sense of gratitude, or obligation, or just plain concern,” she explains, her tone gathering passion by the word as she moves her hands around. “I can put myself back together, Matt. It may take a bit longer without you, but I’d rather do it that way than have you help and then walk away when it looks like I’m back to myself.”

Now it all makes sense, but I have to tell her how wrong she is.

“Come here,” I gently beckon with my hand out, and scoot my chair back, signaling her to come sit in my lap, but it’s not happening.

“Matt, no,” she groans, rubbing a hand over her forehead and closing her eyes in dismay. “It will just make it harder for me.”

“Fine,” I say, getting off my seat and getting on my knees in front of her. “I’ll come to you then.” I settle between her knees and wrap my arms around her waist. “What you went through was unimaginable, and the toll it took on me I no longer give a shit about. We haven’t talked about it because I don’t want what happened between us to matter anymore. I want what’sgoingto happen with us to be the only thing that matters. That, and getting my Sunshine back.”

Her eyes are getting glassy and she presses her lips together, something she does when she’s trying not to cry. I press on.

“And I haven’t been glued to your side because I’m just trying to make sure you’re okay. I’m trying to makemyselfokay. I went over a year without you, and I meant what I said the other night, I don’t ever want to miss you again.”

“But then, why-?”

“I haven’t kissed you because I fucked it up back in December,” I gently cut her off, staring intently into her eyes, as I stroke a knuckle across her cheek, trying to keep her eyes on me too. “I was refusing to believe there was any reason out there that would justify that amount of heartache, and I was so hurt yet so happy you were here, and so fucking confused I didn’t know which emotion to act on, and it made me end up mistreating you, horribly.” My own voice is getting unsteady, now. “That is not how we were supposed to reunite, and I’m so sorry. And I haven’t kissed you this time around because I’ve been worried you’d think that’s what I was here for; that it would turn to that again. I wanted you to see that I’m here because I love you, I can’t stand to be three feet away from you, and I can wait for all the rest.”

A tear escapes her left eye and I wipe it away as she takes in a shaky breath.

“You still love me?” she asks, letting out the breath along with a smile, finally. “Still?”

“Still, Em. I’ve loved you for a long time and I’ve never stopped. And now it’s more than ever before. So you can forget about me going back to my place unless you’re coming with me, because I’m not going to be anywhere but…” I trail off as the cheesiest, yet most perfect idea in the world hits me. Now is the time.

“What?” Melanie asks, trying to read the thoughts crossing my face. Just in these last few moments, she seems more her strong, laid-back self. I can even see a questioning smile pulling at the side of her mouth and it’s perfect.

“I’m not going to be anywhere but where you are,” I finish with a smile that reflects the warm sensation in my heart. She gives a relieved smile of her own in return. “I’d like to kiss you now,” I tell her and she nods as I close in, trying not to attack her lips with mine the way I desperately want to, but instead try to keep it slow and gentle so that we can absorb everything about this moment. And I’m glad, because this is better than any kiss I’ve ever shared with anyone. It’s soft and languid, and I can feel every little particle of every best possible emotion a person can feel.

The kiss goes on for a few moments, our lips stroking against each other’s before Melanie pulls away only slightly.

“Are you okay?” I ask in a whisper. She nods.

“I love you.” The words come out of her mouth quavering with emotion, yet perfectly clear. “This whole time, every moment,”

“I love you too,” I reply, grabbing ahold of her and wrapping my arms completely around her as I bury my face in her neck. I lean back to kiss her again before adding in a whisper, “I want to show you. But if I do, that means you’re mine again… okay?”

She nods breathlessly. “I’ve never been anyone’s but yours, M.”

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