Page 58 of Where You Are

“Ben,” I choke out, not believing what I’m about to say. “I have to go home.”

Chapter Thirty-Two

Matt

In the threeweeks since the sting, things have thankfully made their way back to normal. Our ex-agent is out on bail, and while things are in a state of limbo now where he’s concerned, the detective and lawyers have assured everyone he’s not likely to make any kind of contact with Mayzie, Jack, or the rest of us. It’s likely that his powerful legal team is strongly advising against it.

We’re on a two week break for the holidays, but we had to come back to New York for an appearance of the Up All Night Show. It required us to be gone to New York for two days of our break, cutting into our time off, but we were originally supposed to tape it the night of the sting, so we are making up for the missed appearance we were contracted to attend. Mayzie stayed behind for this one, and no one could blame her. She’s exhausted and drained after the whole scenario.

After the show taping, Jack and I retire back to the sitting area of his suite where we relax with some beers and a leisurely writing session. He’s showing me some lyrics inspired by what we just went through with our douche of an ex-agent, and we’re trying to come up with the right chords and a good hook for it when he checks his watch.

“Time out for a second, man. I want to call Maze before she turns in,” he says, setting his guitar down beside him while reaching for his phone on the coffee table.

“Cool,” I barely respond as I look down at my note pad and write down some key progressions. I’m concentrating hard and only vaguely aware of Jack greeting his wife, until he utters one word that never fails to make time stop in my world.

“Melanie?” he exclaims into the phone, and my reflexes give me no time to control them. My head snaps up. I completely miss what he says next as I look at him, my eyes trying to decipher anything I can about what’s being said on the other end of the line, unconsciously studying Jack’s facial expressions. His eyebrows are drawn together in disbelief as he listens intently.Melanie.

The name circles around in the cyclone that is my mind right now before I remind myself I want to hear any shred of that conversation I can. I find one note on the page and force myself to focus on it and train my ears on Jack’s voice.

“I don’t believe this,” I register Jack saying. “Is she alright?”

I look back down at the notebook but the notes are floating and blending together as my head spins.Is she alright?I echo his words over and over in my own head like a mantra as I stare down at the paper, trying to look like I’m concentrating hard on the song, rather than his words. I let out a silent sigh of relief when the next sound out of Jack’s mouth is a chuckle.

“For good? We’ve heard that before,” he sarcastically tells Maze.

Melanie’s home. She’s alright. Home for good.I hang onto these precious few sentences I got from Jack’s side of the conversation and put them in rotation, letting them float in a circle behind my eyes as Jack wraps up the call.

“So Melanie is back in town. She’s at my house,” he says, once his guitar is back across his lap. I look up to acknowledge him, but quickly refocus on the notebook, afraid he’ll see right through me, trying my best to school my tone to sound casual.

“Yeah, I gathered that from your call.”Fuck, I can’t help myself. I want to know more. What the hell is going on?Still trying to sound un-rattled, I toss a small line out, hoping he’ll bite. “Everything okay with her?” I keep looking down, knowing my face will tip my best friend off.

“Yeah, I think so. It’s just crazy you know?”

Wow. Big fucking help.

“Yeah… fucking crazy,” I murmur back, unable to think of anything better to say. In a matter of a few words and seconds, the mere mention of Melanie has turned me upside down. I need to get passed this and get my shit together, at least until I’m back in my own room and can freak out freely. “But good. Glad she’s alright.” I finish, hoping that dismisses the subject so that I can get through the rest of this evening. I plaster an easy-going smile on my face for good measure. Jack nods and continues to pick and strum at his strings as I adopt a slow rhythm, hoping my heartrate will come down and match it.

MELANIE

I’ve been holed up in the guest room like a fucking coward the whole day. It’s hard to be around Mayzie, especially with how nice she’s being to me. Part of me wishes she’d give me hell for leaving without a word like a thief in the night, not to return for a year. For skipping out on my family and missing most of my sister’s pregnancy, Turn it Up appearances, and the hell she must’ve just gone through. She’s probably still feeling it. Actually, I know she is. I hope to help with that, but to do that, I’d have to tell her and Jack the truth, which will make them furious; at least it will Jack. And I would deserve his wrath. But the more I sit in here, alone with my thoughts, the more I think about how upset everyone is going to act towards me about being gone again, and wonder if I should let the dust settle first so they can see my reasoning more clearly.

I’m jarred from these thoughts by the sudden ruckus of dogs scrambling and barking downstairs. I open the door and quietly shuffle to the top of the stairs where I can see the front door swing open. My brother struts through it, decked out in blue jeans and a bomber jacket with a black duffle slung over his shoulder, which he drops to the floor with a thud. Trooper and Penny are frantically side-winding around him, their tails wagging as they barely contain their whines of excitement. He squats down to let them maul him, but straightens up quickly when Mayzie strides in from the kitchen. He steps right into her, taking her face in his hands and planting a tender kiss on her lips. He does this a couple more times while murmuring something about missing her before enveloping her completely in his arms and burying his face in her hair. They were only apart for two days, but it’s like he’s trying to make up for all the affection he’s missed.

“Are you okay?” he asks, not releasing her, and she hums her affirmative response into his shoulder. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I promise,” she assures him as they finally break apart.

“Okay,” he concedes in a quiet voice before shifting to another subject. “So where’s Melanie?”

“Upstairs. I think she’s jetlagged.” I’ve already begun my descent of the stairs when she responds. At the sound of my name, I gave myself a mental shove forward, ready to see my brother after his brief but intimate reunion with his wife. While I know he’s not thrilled with me, I never wanted to be gone from my family, and I’m excited to see him. He notices me over Mayzie’s shoulder and she looks and flashes me a smile, that again, I don’t deserve. She steps away so that I can hug Jack, and because he’s a wonderful guy and brother, he opens his arms and welcomes me. While I know I’m going to be grilled about the last year, he knows this isn’t the moment. Although, about five minutes from now it will be.

* * *

“Ijust don’t understand how you could skip out on finally being with your family, especially after you’d just come back from seeing the whole damn world,” Jack preaches on his back porch in the late afternoon cold. It actually took half an hour before the grilling commenced. And by that, I mean my own as well as the steaks my brother is doctoring on the grill. Jack took care of his overnight bag and caught up with Mayzie as they started getting things out of the fridge to prep for dinner. Once he had some steaks and vegetables stacked on a couple of plates, he went to the closet and pulled out his jacket as well as mine, signaling it was time to hash things out.

“It’s not that I wanted to…” I try to explain. Just like I thought, he’s not ready to hear the whole story yet. It’s too much all at once, especially with Christmas just two days away and the rest of his tour around the corner.

“I don’t get how some job would be worth all you’ve missed out on,” he continues his tirade as he turns the steaks.

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