Page 8 of Until We Fall

My stomach flexes against the waistband of my jeans, and I’m thinking all these thoughts, but one rises to the top. The one that’s been repeating since we first got on this plane.

One last trip.It’s all over after this.

Everythingis about to change.

Holy wombats, Clua is beautiful.

Two and a half hours later, we’re standing at the edge of the world.

The ocean is spread out before us, only lit by the moon. The sand is cool under our feet, and the air smells sweet, like plumeria, although I haven’t seen any yet. But I definitely smell it.

We’rehere, standing quietly on the beach, inhaling it all in, before Carter bellows out, “Did I tell you about this place orwhat?” He punches Theo in the shoulder.

Rory is next to me. He stares thoughtfully at the waves, his glasses and reader stored in the bag he dropped somewhere behind us. In the moonlight, his hair is a deep, coppery red. He swipes his fingers through it, his wrist bending. It’s too dark to see that knobby rise of his bone, but I’m picturing it.

Jesus, I keep picturing it more and more since the plane.

I don’t fully know what happened for the rest of the flight. He read some more. I sat there, about to explode. Or implode. Probably both. I mentally scoured through every mention of docking that’s ever occurred in my life. I couldn’t eat my fruit and cheese plate without almost choking on it. I asked Rory about what he was reading again, and he told me more about electromagnetic radiation.

He lied to me. I mean, it’s not really alie. That sounds dramatic for the situation. But he hid the truth.

Why?

“The ocean’s so tremendous,” Rory says softly. He’s still staring out at the waves, and I’m really curious about what he’sthinking. About what he sees. About how he feels about being here, the four of us, for this trip.

“Pretty fucking big,” I say. I should say something more intelligent, but that’s the only thing which comes out.

He scans the horizon. “One can calculate the actual size. The ocean’s about a hundred and thirty-nine million square miles in total. But it’s somuch. Can you imagine how tiny we are in comparison?”

No, I can’t. Not right now, at least. I just keep looking at him, his hair in the moonlight, his chest and slim biceps, his slender stature. I’ve always been into guys like Rory. Hell, I was intoRorywhen I first met him, sitting in that study group with Carter and Theo our freshman year. All of Rory’s notes were carefully annotated in such a cute way, and he always said interesting things. I liked him. But he didn’t seem interested in me that way, so I shrugged it off. I wasn’t going to pressure him. And then we became friends, and I love being friends with Rory. I put myself into that friendship one-hundred percent.

He glances over at me. “You’re staring at me, D.”

“I am?” Shit. “I was just thinking about something.”

“What?”

I shrug.Normal. Be normal. “Uh… The plane ride was good. And the ferry… it docked well. I mean, it was a really solid docking.”

Yes, I just said that.

His eyes widen, a flicker of surprise in them. “I… guess so?”

What am I hoping for here? That he suddenly bursts with a random docking explanation? Although, that sounds like something Rory might do.

I inwardly groan. I need to get my brain settled again.

Rory and I are friends. Him reading about docking doesn’t change that.

Rory licks his lips, a tiny swipe of his tongue. His mouth opens, like he’s going to say something. His skin is practically glowing in the moonlight, kisses of freckles on his nose and cheeks.

He’s so pretty.

Fuck, he’s so pretty. I’ve always thought so, but I’d turned the thought off. And now it’s back. And it’s louder than it’s ever been.

It’s our last trip. So if there’s anything I want to do—want to talk about, want to put out there, want to say before we go our separate ways—I need to do it soon.

A wave reaches us, frothing over our toes.

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