Page 50 of Bullied Pregnant Mate

"I wanted her happy."

"And she isn't?"

I couldn't say that. I didn't know what she was, but she didn't look happy when she told me. She looked utterly terrified. She looked like she was finally starting to adjust to this life, and then the second she thought she was pregnant, I could see the horror in her eyes.

"Even if she was happy, I'm not dad material. I didn't have a role model."

"I thought you had a dad."

I snorted. "Having one and having a good role model isn't the same thing." I was like my father in a lot of ways. He never showed affection and never made sure to check on me. I knew my father cared, but it was nothing like you pictured a father being.

When I moved here and heard the guys talk about their families, it seemed very different than mine. There seemed to be a lot more laughter and more fond memories than I had experienced.

When the guys had their kids…I could tell they would never let harm come to them. Ayden and Miles would kill someone for even looking at their children wrong. Miles treatedMichael like he was his own. They all went to their kids' school events and activities. I wasn't sure I had that in me.

I wasn't a huge fan of children. You never knew what to expect, and I wasn't even sure if I wanted children.

"I think you would be a good role model."

I glared at him. "That's not funny."

"I was being serious," Cayden said, offering me a smile. "I understand the fear, but are you really going to let fear hold you back from something that could make your life better?"

I thought about Christmas when my mother traveled to see me by herself. She hugged me tightly, moving my hair around like she had when I was five. Unlike my father, she was a spark of light all the time. She'd dimmed herself for my father, seeming almost unhappy at times.

"Well, what are your Christmas plans?" she asked, leaning back in the booth of the restaurant we were at. She had her hair cut short in a bob and was wearing a thick winter jacket. She looked tan in the face, and I wondered what she'd been up to.

"Just working."

She scowled, "Why would you work on a holiday?"

"Why are you here?" I asked, frowning at her. "And where is dad?"

Her lips went into a line, and she looked away. She was quiet for a moment before she sighed. "You sound so much like him. Somehow, I think you have none of me in you."

"You didn't answer the question."

Her eyes snapped to me, hardening. "Don't start that tone with me, Lucas. You may be a big boy now, but I'm still your mother."

I exhaled. "Mom, I don't have time for this. If you're mad at Dad, just say so. I have to get to work."

"I needed air," she said back, her shoulders dropping. "I just…I needed some air."

My folk's relationship wasn't perfect, but I knew they had been in love at one point. I could see the way my father looked at my mother, but he didn't bend. If my mother wanted something that went against what seemed proper for him, the answer was no.

"I wanted to spend Christmas with you, and he said no." She squared her shoulders. "But no one tells me when I can and can't see my son."

I could imagine the screaming match that would have ignited. My father would have started to yell, and normally, my mother would have backed down, but it seemed this time she hadn't. This time, she barked back.

"And dad's plans?"

She shrugged. "Same as you, work."

I canceled work that day and took my mother shopping instead. At the end of the day, she went home. She kissed me on the forehead and smiled. "There is my son I know and love."

I shook the memory off. It was only last Christmas. One of the few times I felt my mother needed me more than work had.

"When you're a parent, you bend," I said, unsure if I was telling Cayden or myself. "Over and over, you bend. You bend for your wife, and you break for your children. You bend when theyneed you to. I don't bend," I glanced at Cayden. "How can I be a father if I'm unwilling to change?"

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