Page 4 of Twink Heart

Adam: Getting laid already??!

Me: No. Work stuff.

Adam: Gross! What the fuck are you working on that for? It’s the weekend!

Me: I’m salary. Weekends don’t exist, remember? Just like working hours don’t exist.

Adam: That’s stupid. You should find a new job that’s not so soul-sucking.

Me: Where would that be? You got a job offer for me?

Adam: Anyway… Why are you out at the beach or something? You’ve been through a trauma. You should go relax and grieve or whatever it is you straight people do.

Me: I’m not sure I’m really up for that right now.

Adam: Well, how the hell are you gonna get laid if you don’t put yourself out there?

Me: Shouldn’t I be taking that time to grieve, like you said?

Adam: Look, I slept with a woman ONCE and let me tell you, the pussy ain’t worth the trouble. Just go find another one.

Me: Omg…

Adam: Hear me out Booboo. Put the report down, go to the beach, and get some sun. It’ll make you feel better, you’ll get some eye candy, and you can start forgetting about old what’s her face and start getting ready to find someone that DESERVES you. You worked your ass off for that bitch, and now it's time for you to take care of yourself.

Me: I hate when you say intelligent things

Adam: I’m here for you, Booboo.

Me: Stop calling me that.

Adam: Absolutely not :P

?I sighed as I put my phone down. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, Adam was right. Sitting around and burying myself in work wasn’t going to help me forget Mia, and it definitely wasn’t going to make me feel better. Grieving felt like a strong word for the situation. After all, it wasn’t like someone had died or anything. But, in a way, I suppose my life, as I’d known it, was now dead. Just a quick glance up at the unfamiliar cabin surrounding me was enough to prove that.

?There was a sudden crushing realization that I would never be going home again. The place I’d lived and built a life with Mia was gone. The past was suddenly and permanently out of reach and the future was dark from where I was sitting. I didn’t see how things could possibly get any better. I didn’t want Mia back, that was for sure. But I wished I could get back the feeling of knowing someone cared about me and was waiting for me when I got home.

?I shook my head. No. I didn’t want that anymore. Relationships were for idiots who liked to be taken advantage of. Love was for suckers, and I wanted nothing to do with it ever again.

?A sudden rush of anger and depression filled my chest, and I had to push my computer away. I didn’t want to think about work right now and as far as my boss was concerned, he could suck my fat cock and do his own goddamn report.

?Pushing myself away from the desk, I decided I would take Adam’s advice. Going to the beach sounded like a good excuse to get out and do something for me for once. Fuck the rest of the world. I was going to look out for number one this time.

???

?I hated the beach.

?Sure, the sand was beautiful, the sun was bright, the breeze was just enough to take the edge off, and the water was the most crystalline blue I’d ever seen.

?But the entire fucking thing was dripping with couples.

?There were a couple of teenagers making out like there was no tomorrow. An old couple walked along the beach, hand in hand, picking up interesting looking rocks. A crunchy organic farm looking couple carried buckets and picker-uppers, grabbing trash and laughing as they went. There were even a pair of toddlers holding hands while they built shitty sandcastles near the water.

?Worst fucking place ever.

?And then there was me. I was back near the treeline, trying to keep in the shade and away from all these goddamn tourists and their perfect fucking lives. Seriously, if I saw one more person smile, I was going to puke. These people were the worst. How dare they all be so happy? Didn’t they know that my life had literally just fallen apart? Wasn’t it obvious from the cloud hanging over my head? The giant one that read ‘my girlfriend cucked me in our own bed’.

?People were the fucking worst.