Page 38 of Twink Heart

?“I get rewarded for letting you suck me off?” I laughed. “Fucking score.”

?“I meant for being so patient with me and hearing me out after I blew up.”

?“Oh. Well, it was just the right thing to do.”

?“Yeah, but you didn’t have to.”

?“I wanted to,” I corrected. “Back when I was figuring stuff out I didn’t have someone to talk to that would actually listen. And nobody should have to go through that. It’s hard enough to accept those things about yourself when you spend your whole life being told it’s wrong. The least I could do was hear you out.”

?“I appreciate it nonetheless.” He paused for a moment. “And I’m sorry for being grumpy all the time. I’m just… still hurt I guess.”

?“Don’t worry about it. I think it’s cute, anyway. As long as you don’t hate me for smiling all the time.”

?“It is annoying. I don’t know how anyone can see the bright side as often as you do.”

?“I have a job I love, I live in one of the most beautiful places in the world, and I’m having breakfast with a cute boy. What more could I possibly ask for?”

?Rowan blushed as he pushed my plate toward me followed by a bottle of maple syrup. “Don’t let it get cold,” he said, averting his gaze so I couldn’t see how surprised he was by my compliment.

?However, when he came around the island to sit next to me, I noticed his shorts were tented again. I took a mental note that he was voice activated and definitely had a praise kink whether he knew it or not. After we’d finished breakfast, I tested my theory. And sure enough, the guy popped a boner every time I told him he was good at something or told him he was beautiful. It was sort of funny to watch because he didn’t know what to do with himself or how to react. And I’ll admit, I found it quite entertaining watching him flounder.

?After a quick bath and a change of clothes, Rowan and I packed up and headed out to Hardwood Beach. We made a quick stop at one of the small corner stores for a few drinks and snacks. I was still full from breakfast, but if we were gonna hang out at the beach for a while, I’m sure I’d get snack-ish. That’s why my bag always had extra granola bars rolling around in the bottom of it. I knew how I was and I made sure I was prepared at all times.

?“Back into the parking spot,” I said as we arrived. “So the tailgate faces the lake.”

?“Okay?” Rowan replied, not sure where I was going with it.

?Once he parked and I had him pop the hatch, I crawled back through and over the seats, finding a perfect place to perch so I could watch the lake in comfort. Rowan came around the other side, dropping out backpacks in the trunk and sitting next to me.

?“See? Now we can watch the storm come in and we won’t get rained on!” I leaned back against the inside of the car, stretching my legs out in front of me. “And we can lay down if we want to.” I glanced up at him. “Do you go out to watch storms a lot?”

?“I used to,” he nodded. “Back in college. There was a bluff nearby that had a little park at the top of it. I used to drive out there and watch them roll in over the city.”

?“Sounds romantic.”

?“I always went alone,” he replied.

?“You can do romantic things with yourself,” I laughed. “I take myself on dates all the time. It’s called self-care.”

?“It sounds sad.”

?I lifted an eyebrow in his direction.

?“I mean… not that there's anything wrong with it… just that… I don’t know… How can you do stuff like that by yourself? I’d feel weird if I went on a date alone. Everyone would just look at me and think I was pathetic or something, wouldn’t they?”

?“Who cares?” I asked honestly. “Isn’t it better to be nice to yourself than to worry about what other people think? If I spent my whole life worried about what others thought of me, I wouldn’t be half the person I am today. I’d probably still be in the closet too.”

?“I guess you’re right,” he sighed. “I just… I’ve never had to do date stuff alone I guess. Mia and I had been together since a little after college.”

?“That’s a long time to be with someone.”

?“Leaving her made me realize how much I took for granted. I never had to eat alone, sleep alone, or go out alone. Now I feel like the entire world is staring at me when I go anywhere, like they know I’m just some sad single schmuck who couldn’t keep his girl happy.”

?“I don’t think that’s what they see.”

?He glanced up at me. “Right…”

?I reached out, tracing my fingers over his jaw. “I can’t speak for them, but I know what I see.”

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