Page 28 of Darkness and Duress

“See? He ain't dying. He's just fucked up.”

“Check his pulse.”

My world went topsy turvy again as the surface I was laying on moved, dipped, shifted. Oh God, I was gonna hurl if it didn't stop moving. Icy fingers hit my neck and panic rose with the bile.Don't touch. Don't touch. Don't touch!

“What am I even looking for?” Bran. Bran was so close.

“Uh… slow or weak or some shit. Check his breathing too.” Luca. Why was Luca here? Where was here? Where were we?

“Yeah, we’re good. He's running a damn marathon in La La Land.”

The too-cold fingertips brushed through my hair and… oh. That was nice.Do that again.My words came out all wrong. Why couldn't I get my mouth to work right?

Oh God… oh God, don't hurl. Don't hurl. Up became down, left became right, the world spun out as my body moved… no. As someone else moved my body? What the fuck was happening?!

“Easy, baby. Easy. Let it out. I've got you.”

Bran, help me. Please?

Bile. Black crept into my blurred vision. Fuck, my whole body hurt. Why wasn't anything coming up? Why couldn't I stop retching?!

“Fuck, that's gnarly.”

“Shut the fuck up and get me a washcloth, Luca.”

Black. Black, black, black. So fucking tired…

End me now. The dagger in my head needed to get the job done because this misery, this suffering, was too much. I wanted to claw my skin off but I could barely lift my arm. Why was it so damn bright? There was no way in hell I was opening my eyes. The light already burned my retinas. Burned straight through my eye sockets, down my throat, and into my gut.

Movement at my back sent my heart rate into the stratosphere and it burned even worse in my chest. Burned like a gunshot wound—deep and gnawing and relentless burning. Please, just let me die.

“Hey… shh. Take it easy. I've got you.” Warmth, a gentle weight, crept over my side and around my chest. “Relax. I'm not gonna hurt you.”

“Mmkay.” Damn, was that my voice? What the hell happened?

“Want some water?”

God, no. That would involve moving. “M’no.”

“Go back to sleep, baby. I'm right here.” That should have pissed me off or petrified me, but it was Bran. Bran was everywhere. The scent of him was seared into my sinuses. With a slow exhalation, I let the darkness consume me again.

I'm never drinking again. Everyone always says that in the pits of a hangover, but Ireallymeant it. I knew better. I fucking knew better. I'd been down this road so many times and the result was always the same—a temporary high, a brief glimmering reprieve from the heaviness in my head, followed by absolute misery and clouds of depression that were impossible to claw my way out of. I fucking knew better.

Judging by the play of light over the floor, it was way too fucking early in the morning. Cinder blocks weighed me down, both inside and out. I couldn't move the weight from my chest. My feet were numb under another immovable object. I blinked the grit from my eyes and took in my surroundings with a slow, painful move of my head. A hand bearing a bright amber tiger lily tattoo lined in black was clamped tight over my shirtless chest. A motionless amber and black Rottie sprawled over my legs. Fuck my life. Bran was plastered to my back and the fact that Essa was here meant Luca and Nico were likely nearby, too.

It took so much effort to pull myself free from my restraints. Once I managed to sit up, another flash of amber caught my eye. Three amber orange pill bottles in a tidy row on my black nightstand stared accusingly. I should have felt something about that as bits and pieces of last night crept in with consciousness, but I couldn't feel anything but misery. What did it matter? Nothing mattered. None of it mattered. I fought through theaches and pains, gritting my teeth as I climbed out of the bed and shuffled to the bathroom.

My clothes were in a heap on the floor beside the toilet and the odor of vomit was ripe in the air. Emptying my bladder brought only the slightest bit of relief. Rinsing my mouth out with the tap almost made me believe I was human. A splash of ice water on my face made me feel something for a brief moment before the darkness crept back in.

“Morning, sunshine.” I flinched and recoiled at the sound of Bran’s voice. “Hey, no. Sorry. It's just me. Gotta take a piss.”

I stood motionless, hunched over the sink as he slipped into the room on silent feet and unbuttoned his pants. Why was I staring at his dick? Why didn't he care? What the fuck was my life?

“You should eat something.” Bran shook his dick and tucked it back into his pants before invading my space to wash his hands. Our eyes met in the mirror. “We're going to get out of your space, but I want you to promise me you’ll eat something and call if you need anything.”

I nodded, barely, and tore my eyes from his reflection. “Thank you.”

“Nothing to thank me for. Get some rest, Sad Panda. I'll stop by later.” His fingertips swirled over the nape of my neck and sent a shiver down my spine as my eyes fluttered closed. Why did his touch feel so good? I hated to be touched. Except for him.

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