Page 13 of Darkness and Duress

“You pick the worst kind of people to be friends with, Gian.” I dropped my hands from my head to let them dangle between my knees. “I'm still pissed you hang out with fuckingBrandonafter what he did.”

“You're gonna have to help me, I ain't smart like you. The fuck are you even talking about?”

I boggled at him and shook my head. “When he stole your meds in middle school. He's the entire reason you got kicked out of the school. He's the reason you got shipped out to Nonna’s farm—”

“Hold the fuck up,” Gian blurted, pressed a clammy palm to my mouth. “You got this so fucking wrong, my head is spinning.”

I recoiled and sneered, wiping my mouth with a scoff. “It's true. You both got kicked out. I was there for the arguments.”

“Bro, shut it.” Gianluca went back to drumming his thighs as his movements became more pressurized and frenetic. “I gave Henny those pills. If anything, I'm the reason he lost his scholarship. I'm the one who fucked up his life.”

I sat back further, squinting at his face in disbelief. “He stole them. He stole your meds and you went on a fucking rage—”

“Marc. I gave them to him. Yeah, it was dumb as fuck, but I didn't want to take those fucking pills anymore. I wanted to move to Nonna’s. I got kicked out of school for fighting. Danny Albertson wouldn't leave me, Henny, and Jer alone. I knocked his fucking teeth out. Henny got in trouble for having the pills since my name was on the bottle. He never stole shit.” Gianluca shook his head with a disappointed laugh. “That's what you've thought all this time?”

I swept my palms over my face with a groan. “Fuck me.”

“Henny's a good fucking guy, Marc. My best friend. He’s helped my ass so fucking much. And Nico’s. Fuck, he saved our damn lives when Leda went off the rails.” His hand cupped the nape of my neck as he bumped our heads together. “Give him achance. Jericho too. I ain't close with the others. But those two? Ride or die, bro.”

“Ride or die for you. Not me—”

“Marco,” Gian stressed, gripping me tighter. “He’s the one who helped me off the fucking pig that put you behind bars.”

My world tilted on its axis. Everything I thought I'd known, plus all the things I hadn't, coalesced into a firestorm in my brain. My eyes blurred. My blood whooshed in my ears. I had to brace myself upright as tightness squeezed in my chest. Nothing at all made sense as my foundations cracked and crumbled. My brother had killed for me? My brother and fuckingBrandon?! I refused to believe it.

I stood so abruptly, Gianluca fell backwards with a startled exclamation. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't fucking breathe. My mind was pure chaos and panic as I stormed through the gym and whipped the door open so hard, it hit the wall with a loud crack. The sound reverberated in my head, and I physically felt the cracks spreading through my rib cage as I tried desperately to drag air into my lungs with no luck.

Gianluca’s voice followed, shouting my name over and over again. Marco. Marco. Marco. I couldn't stand the sound of it. I couldn't stop myself. I barreled through the door to the emergency stairwell with another loud bang as my sneakers squeaked on the concrete. Down, down, down until I tackled the door to the garage open with a grunt, pain radiating from my shoulder from the force of it. What did I care?

I scanned the space and advanced on the group of men loitering near the convoy of SUVs belonging to my father. They were his cars. His men. Fuck it all. I stalked forward, intent on escape.

“Keys.”

“Sir, I—”

“Give me a set of fucking keys now!” My body trembled from head to toe as I clenched my fists in the nearest man’s jacket. “Now!”

“Fuck, man.”

“Jones, just do it.”

I shook the man harder and only let go once he retrieved the jangling keyring from his pocket. I swiped them from his grip and pressed the fob. My eyes darted toward the sound of a car unlocking. Freedom. Control. A need so intense, it was as imperative as breathing. My feet were already moving toward the vehicle as Gianluca blew through the door in a rush.

“Marco, stop!”

It was too late. I wasn't going to stop. I couldn't, even if I wanted to. I slammed the car door closed behind me and hit the door lock. It took three tries to get the keys in the ignition, but finally, the rumble of the engine cut through the white noise in my head. Gianluca slammed his palms on the hood of the car, but I already had it in reverse. The last thing I saw in the rearview mirror was Gianluca pitching a fit in the middle of the garage.

The daylight burned my eyes with its intensity as I pulled out into the late morning traffic. Everything about this damn city was so fucking claustrophobic, it was no better than being in jail. Tall concrete barriers. Narrow spaces. The feeling of being trapped and corralled and unable to move was so overwhelming and only made my chest tighter.

I drove and drove for what felt like ages but was only half an hour. Traffic around LaGuardia Airport was insane, but I wasn't in the area to catch a flight. I pulled into a sketchy little construction site between 80th and 81st and eased the car toward the water’s edge before killing the engine. With the steering wheel clutched to my chest in a bear hug, I squinted out across Bowery Bay to the looming monstrosity perched in themiddle of the East River. My home. The one I sometimes longed to return to so that life made sense again. The one I was still trapped in, no matter how many times everyone told me I was free.

Rikers Island.

Chapter Eight

Henny

Another day, another job on the horizon. I rolled out of bed feeling more rested than I had in a long time. Three days since the strange experience of waking up in Marco’s bed. Three days without a drink. Three days chock full of big, scary, adult ruminations over the things he’d said, and everything else that had been left unsaid.

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