Page 204 of What Lies Within Masks & Shadows

—the words scribbled out?—

You were breathtaking today.

She almost snorted, heart fluttering for the first time since before the wall. Alora rolled her eyes and whispered to the parchment, “Are you drunk?” Then another fell.

Not nearly enough. I unfortunately am thinking.

Thinking about what venom she spewed in the tavern? Alora lowered her head and picked at the hem of her oversized, crimson sleeping tunic.

“Did I hurt you badly?”

Her flaming fist. The burn. His heart. What part of him did she do irrevocable damage to? Which part of him had lost his trust in her and would never return? She almost couldn’tstand the ache pounding in her chest and fingertips, waiting for another note.

Waiting.

And waiting.

Until she was certain another wouldn’t come.

Alora brushed her hand through her hair after what seemed ages of nothing. When she set her arm back on her knees, a page crumpled underneath.

Is that why you are awake? You are worried about me?

Thunder rumbled outside, shaking the bed as if in answer to his question. The nightmare had woken her, but it was the tavern that rendered sleep impossible. Likely brought on by the events of the day, the nightmare that visited her often, always the same screaming. Always the same bloody hand reaching for her. She wanted to tell him about her nightmares. Yet the burden was too crippling to be shared.

It was a stupid nightmare. It meant nothing.

Smokeshadows nudged another note into her hand.

What is bothering you?

She could dance around it. Lie. Conjure a story that would fit better and convince him she was fine. She could ignore the question, ask him why he was awake. Even stay silent and hope that his notes would eventually change the conversation.

A Smokeshadow brushed her arm as if asking her the same question.

What’s bothering me?Alora inhaled deeply through her nose and pulled her arms tighter around her knees. Everything from the tavern slammed into her at once. A load so heavy that she was thankful she was on the bed by the sudden change of pressure in her head. The room felt smaller, closing in. The air felt heavier, harder to breathe.

“I hurt you.” Her voice cracked and released the dam, holding the liquid in her eyes. Alora’s throat constricted as she whimpered out a cry. “I hurt you. Oh stars.I hurt you.”

Smokeshadows roared around her, their icy chill hugging against her skin.

“I hurt you.” Over and over and over, she repeated it. Thinking countless words that only her heart could say but her mouth couldn’t. Heat rushed through her body, just as it had at Kaine’s taunting in that tavern. Just as it did every moment he stood before her—real or not.

A note fell again. But she didn’t see it. Didn’t feel the next one fall, or the next.

Her eyes were lighting with enough embers to boil her tears.

Fists balling too tight, caging sparks inside that needed to burst.

Desperately holding everything in. Silently suffering for moments—for months.

The deepest scars in her mind split open. She thought of every horrible thing Kaine had ever said. Every lie and every scheme of his memory convincing her to turn on Garrik. Every stupid and evil and ruthless word he’d say before convincing her that he was the only one who could ever care for her. How his hands weren’t stained with her own blood. That Garrik was her enemy, the enemy, the enemy, the?—

Five more notes fell in rapid succession before she was engulfed in a white rage of flames.

The doors of her tent burst open.

Lightning crackled behind him and lit up his frame with natural brilliance before leaving him cast in the shadows of the opening. Rasping breaths drew his chest-high, and he panted alongside the raging storm.

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