Page 25 of One More Chapter

“What does it look like I’m doing?” she asks through a narrowing gaze.

I exhale harshly through my nose.

“That’s my pizza.”

“What makes it your pizza? It’sleftovers. You didn’t call dibs on it, did you?”

In my cloud of crankiness, I miss the tiny hint that she might waver and hand back the uneaten slice. But I let my attitude take the wheel, and use the nickname I know she hates as a weapon.

“It’s called consideration, PJ. Theleastyou could’ve done would’ve been to ask me first.”

At the mention ofPJ, I see the sparkling mischief turn to annoyance. Her tongue darts out, and before I can stop her, she runs it the length of the remaining pizza.

“I licked it. Now it’s mine.”

SheHumphsas punctuation to that statement. I reach for it, about to remind her that my tongue has been on hers so I really don’t give a fuck if her saliva is on my pizza, when she folds the rest and shoves it in her mouth like a petulant toddler trying to have its way.

The sound that comes out of me isn’t human. It’s a combo of grunt, snarl, and something predatory that meansback the fuck off of my property. Except my property is now sliding down her gullet. I stomp right back out the front door without looking back.

Sure, it’s a small problem. But in the grand scheme of things, it’s the proverbial straw that broke my back. Lump that in with the fact that she did it to spite me, and toss the cherry on top that I’m so sickeningly in love with this girl for shits and giggles, and my day has effectively gone to shit.

Yeah, I said it. I’m in love with her. Have been since that night on the beach—since that first day of the trip when she told me her secrets and I told her mine, really. But I messed it up, and now I’m living in my own chapter of purgatory as the consequence. Sharing a living space, a couch, afridgewith the woman, basically has me at her beck and call. My heart is doing backflips to try and win her back when my head knows we can never have her.

I sit on the front porch for God only knows how long. Head hanging between my legs, prickles of concrete digging into my hands from where they’re pressed into the step, feet planted firmly on the ground.

How the hell am I supposed to spend the rest of this year sharing every available space with this woman when I can barely breathe just thinking about her?

I can picture that last night on the beach as if it’s playing out right in front of me. Pen in a cute navy romper thing that complimented the red glow of her hair under the moonlight. Me in an old Red Sox tee and jeans. We had a little too much to drink, but when I told her the only way back to the beach after midnight was to jump over the locked fence, she lofted herself over on the second try.

Right into my waiting arms. Right there for me to catch her.

I know what a fool I am that I let her get away.

I can still feel the crunch of the cold sand beneath my butt and between my toes. She’d flopped down, toed off her wedgey heels, and started drawing aimless little pictures in the sand with her white-tipped toes while we talked about everything and nothing.

It was the night she told me about her books. It was the night I told her about how lost I felt. And then, after we’d spotted some vacant beach chairs, she’d given me a line I teased her for. The age oldI’m cold. Penelope Barker cozied up against my chest beneath an endlessly starry sky should have been the start of my new beginning. Instead, I made it the beginning to my own demise.

Because when we met in the middle for a kiss neither of us can entirely claim to have started, all of those lost pieces I’d admitted to found their way home.

When I gripped her thigh, her ass, and lofted her up and onto my lap, wheels started cranking with a momentum I hadn’t felt since leaving for college over a decade ago.

When I parted from our heated kiss to see her bright blue eyes with the backdrop of a starry sky behind her, I should haveput on the brakes, told her the truth, and asked her to help me make a game plan.

But I couldn’t resist her. My fire engine siren. The light in the darkness that came at the exact wrong time.

Because when it came down to it, I was a coward. I texted Penelope, flirted with her, FaceTimed when our schedules were too busy, and said we should grab a drink when it looked like they were clearing up. I made endless promises that dug me deeper and deeper every time. And when Avery showed up on my front doorstep the night before my date with Pen, tears in her eyes, begging me to take her back, I choked. Ghosted Penelope. Left her high and dry at the restaurant I’d picked. Tucked my tail between my legs and tried to do the right thing with the girl I had once thought was my forever.

The one who I fell out of love with a long time ago, but didn’t have the guts to tell her. So now, I’m paying my penance. Maybe part of that penance is living and working with the one woman I can’t have.

The sun is setting somewhere behind me. It rises with the new day right in front of my bedroom window. I know. I’ve sat up all night and seen it rise. I can’t do it tonight though. With the first day of school around the corner, I need to do my best to manage my insomnia without disturbing my new roommate in the process. I already broke her heart. She’ll kill me if I break her sleep schedule too.

ten

penelope

“Um, excuse me? What is that?”

I mean, I know exactly what it is. It’s a Captain America shield neon sign. I’m just confused as to why it’s hanging on the wall in my classroom.

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