Page 85 of Between the Lines

Everything is all moved in. Thanks for checking.

I set my phone on the bedside table, expecting that to be the end of it, but my phone vibrates again almost immediately.

Nathan

I hope this isn’t a strange observation, but why aren’t your nails painted?

I have to laugh. Hewouldnotice—hedidnotice earlier today, when he’d rubbed his thumb over my chipped manicure.

Claire

Not strange at all.

Since I’m moving out on my own, I didn’t think spending money on my nails was the responsible choice anymore.

I’ll live.

The way bubbles pop up and disappear several times in our text thread makes me giddy. I can’t have him, and yet, here he is, texting me late at night to check in.

Nathan

I’m glad to hear it went well.

I know we shouldn’t, but I’d love to see you. Would youlike to come over for dinner this weekend? If you and Penelope have plans, I understand.

I can’t have himflies out the window.

Because right now,wanttriumphs over the do’s and don’ts.

And I want Nathan. Rules be damned.

Claire

She’s actually going out of town tomorrow. I’d love to see you, too. What can I bring?

thirty-five

nathan

Ifhaving a crush,as Aaron so pointedly put it, is what I’ve come down with, further symptoms include the following: Stress cleaning my entire home from top to bottom. Stocking my kitchen with all of the ingredients for a dish I found online, plus a few extras that I’ve noticed Claire eating at school (gummy bears, sour cream and onion chips, and some extra herbal tea). Spending way too much time in the floral section of the grocery store and still being unsatisfied with my bouquet of choice. Showering, shaving, and lighting a candle. Lastly, and my least favorite, my insides are vibrating.

Breaking all the rules.

I have never felt this way.

Of course, I’ve been interested in women before. I took my best acquaintance from English class to the senior prom, and after we lost our virginities to each other in the backseat of my car, we went our separate ways. I can’t say I was entirely heartbroken. I prioritized my brother over making friends after his cancer diagnosis, and when I went to college, I was focused on getting in and out as quickly as possible to be there for Cal as his guardian. I had no interest in courting, limiting most of my interactions in the bedroom to one nightstands.Theirbedrooms. I never took a woman home, to the place where Cal slept.

Which is what makes Claire’s presence in my home so defining. Not only has she been here more than once, but shewantsto come back. She held me through one of my toughest nights in over a decade, and didn’t run for the hills like I assumed she would have.

The fact that I didn’t get to do the same for her made me panic. I want to be there for her in all of the ups and downs too.

I don’t know what to do with any of this information. Instead of analyzing all of the quirky things I’ve done in preparation for her coming over, I set up the last impulse purchase I made in the study, and ready myself by the front door.

Iswaiting by the door with my knee bouncing erraticallyanother symptom of a crush?

There’s a light knock on the front door, and my body goes rigid. I close my eyes, take a deep breath in and release it to find my center, and rise to let her in.

After not seeing her for two weeks, and knowing that she spent her first night in a new place coming into today, she still looks radiant. Strength emanates from her, and I stand there in awe for a moment, breathing it in.

---