Page 149 of Between the Lines

“I wouldn’t have made it this far if it wasn’t for you. I wouldn’t have been able to break free of my past—the guiltIharbored about my siblings, the guilt I had for wanting to live my own life—if it wasn’t foryou. And I don’t want any of that to be in vain. I want to live in this freedomwith you.”

I kiss him. Hard. Demanding that if my words won’t break through to him, maybe the way our bodies have always fit together so perfectly will. He doesn’t respond right away, and I take my time, tilting my mouth against his, holding him securely in my hands as he’s always done for me, until he finally sighs, melts into me, and works his lips beneath mine. I gasp in relief, slipping my tongue against his as his hands come up around my back, holding onto me like the world is ending.

When I wake up in his bed the next morning to find the house empty, I wonder if mine just did.

fifty-nine

nathan

“…like to share any final thoughts?”

I blink at the meeting agenda in front of me. The lines are blurry. I have been in the stratosphere for most of this staff meeting, letting Don take the wheel. Ordinarily, I’d have prepared half the talking points, but when staff meetings happenbeforeschool, most teachers are okay with them ending early to get to their classrooms, anyway.

“Nate?”

I snap out of it at the sound of Don’s voice.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“We were just talking about the sub shortage.”

I hope that my heartbreak isn’t visible on my face.

I swallow the bowling ball sized knot, straighten my tie, and glance down at the agenda—where Don has listed the slew of absences we’ll have in the upcoming weeks.

“Unfortunately, if we can’t get subs to cover, we’ll probably have to pull Lucy from her case load,” Don continues.

“Why don’t you tell Harding to call that little blondie back? We could use her as a floating sub?—”

I am up and out of my seat, finally engaged in this meeting, because the straw has finally broken my back.

“I havehad enough of your language about her, Joe. You were warned.”

My chair clatters behind me from the force with which I push it. I can feel the heat emanating from my face. Don looks shocked. Joe Petersen is a mix of nervous intrigue, much like he had been that time in my office.

“Why don’t we talk about this in private, Nate?—”

“Why don’t you ask him what he wasdoingin private with that sub, Don.”

I am a volcano, lava pouring off of me in a steaming mess. The library is deadly silent. Don dismisses the rest of the staff, save for myself and Joe. As soon as we are alone, my voice drops to a timbre that is equally as lethal.

“Ms. Benson and I were working on a behavior management system. Your deflection will not excuse the way you spoke about her in my office.”

My fists clench painfully at my sides, and Don, standing between us, looks from Joe to me and back.

“What’s this about, Joe?”

For a moment, Joe says nothing. Then he scoffs and runs a hand through his hair.

“Just talk, Don. Nothing to worry about.”

“Talk you werewarnedabout. Don, I’m putting my foot down about this. He doesn’t get to disrespect her. Doesn’t get to disrespect others in this building due to his seniority.” It doesn’t have a place in this conversation, but I tack on, “Doesn’t get to continue disregarding the curriculum, either,” for good measure.

Don sighs, long and low, then runs a hand over the top of his head.

“Joe, we’ll uh… We’ll set up a meeting about this. You’d better get to class. Bell’s about to ring.”

Joe stomps off, crumpling his meeting agenda in his grasp as he goes. Don looks up at me, dumbfounded.

---