Page 130 of Between the Lines

“How’s it coming along? Lucy has been helping you, right?”

I nod. Regardless of my degree, I have some classes to take, and a licensure exam to pass. It looks like I’ll be neck deep in books again soon. The thought is thrilling, but also daunting, as I think about all of the upcoming expenses and the time I’ll need to dedicate to my future.

“I might start looking for a job soon,” I admit,waytoo close to the first bell to be having a heart to heart. “I’ll need something over the summer anyway.”

Penelope squeezes my shoulder and lands me with a genuine mama smile.

“You can stay with me, rent free, for as long as you want to,Claire. Don’t break your back trying to make money so you can have this future for yourself.”

I hadn’t realized I’d been holding that fear in. The bell rings before I can offer her the proper gratitude.

I head to the class I’m working in, my text thread to Nathan already pulled up, thumbs clacking away, when a new text notification runs across the top of my screen.

Zoey

Library tonight?

I see it right as my message to Nathan—P is out of the house tonight. Finish what we started in your office, and then I’ll make you dinner?—sends. And my heart positively plummets.

I haven’t seen my sister since Christmas. Haven’t had a real conversation since then. But Nathan has already texted me back,Absolutely, and I’m torn down the middle.

I haven’t seenhimwithout interruptions since break ended. And when your soul calls out to another, how can you ignore it?

On my way out the door, I notice that Joe Petersen is gone, but after what happened this morning, I don’t want to chance it. I wait until I’m in my car to call him from the parking lot.

“I think I have to cancel our plans tonight,” I say when he answers. “My little sister Zoey texted to hang out tonight, and I haven’t seen her since Christmas. I already made plans with you?—”

“I know how important your siblings are,” he interrupts. “We can have a rain check.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Thank you for being up front. I don’t want you to think you have to choose between me and your siblings.”

“It’s not just that,” I admit, staring at the building from the parking lot, where I know his office windowsits. “I hate that we haven’t seen each other alone in like, two weeks. Thethoughtof sneaking around is a thrill, but in reality…”

“Yeah.But.”

Thatbuthangs heavily in the air. All of those unspoken feelings from the past several weeks, the ones neither of us have put names to yet, are all wrapped up in three simple letters. I want to talk about it, but not here. I want to get this elephant of the unknown off my chest, but if I can’t put the words together, what am I even supposed to say to him?I don’t like sneaking around? I don’t like keeping you a secret? I liked being your date to the gala, and I wish that could be our rule and not our exception?

I fear that a secret is all we’ll ever be allowed to have.

My chin trembles as my lips part. I don’t know what I’m going to say, but words seem determined to escape, when Nathan interrupts.

“Zoey is the sister who plays chess?”

“Yes.” I’m not sure if I’m grateful or disappointed that we’ve lost the opportunity.

“I could come to the library tonight. Or you could stop by my place on your way.” I nod thoughtfully at his suggestion, at the way he still wants to see me, even with my sister in tow. “I hate how things ended this morning. And I just miss you too, I think.”

Oh. My heart pinches. He says it with such earnestness that I can’t help the stutter of my breath.

“How did things go with Joe?” I ask.

Nathan sighs in comedic exasperation. “Joe is Joe. I will retire before he does.”

“So we’re okay?” I ask, my hidden meaning somehow straight out in the open.

“Yes. We are definitely okay.”

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