Page 90 of Queen of the Hollow Hills

Cormag whispered in my ear. “I will join Eddin and my mother. Lord Gregor is too much in Ystradwel’s ear, but you know that already.” He kissed me on the side of my head and then departed.

Ystradwel joined me, taking the seat Mael Muire had occupied.

“Cartimandua,” she said softly. “I cannot tell you how sorry I am that I was not here to meet your daughters. This year… It has been a hard year for me, but nothing compared to the loss you and Cormag have endured.”

The sharp edge of my pain wanted to close in on me once more. I blocked it off. The only way I could get through this night was by forgetting my heartbreak for just a moment.

“Thank you.” I held her gaze, then said, “You have suffered this year as well. A female malady?”

“The midwives tell me that when I rid myself of Catell’s unwanted seed, something was damaged within me. I… It has been difficult. That, along with the loss of my father…”

I reached for her hand.

For a moment, Ystradwel pulled back, but then she relaxed and gently held my bandaged hand. Her fingers were ice cold.

“Is all truly well in Setantii lands? Ystradwel, this Lord Gregor?—”

“You think him too bold. You are right, but my father trusted him. He has not advised me wrongly.”

“He is too close with King Aengus. Do not let him speak with the so-called king on your behalf—or mine. Aengus is widely considered a usurper by any who care to consider him at all.”

“Although there would be some benefit to slowing King Ord, would there not? In so doing, we would slow the Catuvellauni’s press to take the south.”

“What the Catuvellauni do is of no interest to me. They may do as they please, but if their eyes shift toward Brigantes lands, that is different. And I do not think the Catuvellauni will have so easy of a time with the Iceni—Northern nor Greater—nor the Coritani. I am not concerned about the Catuvellauni nor interested in King Aengus’s ambitions.”

Ystradwel paused. “Yes. Yes, you are right.”

“Do not rely on Lord Gregor’s word alone. What of the priestesses of Chlíodhna? Do you trust them to advise you?”

“They are not like Môd and Onnen. They keep only to their mysteries.”

“Please remember you are not alone, Ystradwel. Perhaps we can speak to Onnen. It would be good to have someone to advise you. One of the Brigantes priestesses who?—”

“No. I am well enough. I am careful, Cartimandua. I often let Lord Gregor talk just to hear him expose his true thoughts. He does enjoy the sound of his own voice. But my retainers wait on my word. I promise you.”

“Very well.”

“Cartimandua, you tax yourself too much with this meeting. You and Cormag… We all know you are grieving. You should rest.”

“I shall. It is done now.”

Ystradwel nodded. “We will depart in the morning. Is there anything I can do for you before I go?”

“Only promise me that you will be cautious with Lord Gregor. I do not trust him. If he seeks to reach, you must push him back.And if he reaches too far, do not hesitate to take a hand that is too greedy. And if you cannot, never fear. I will.”

“Thank you, Cartimandua.”

I rose. “Get your rest. It is a far ride home. Are you… Are you comfortable with such a journey? Perhaps a wagon would?—”

“Thank you for asking. It means so much to me. I am well enough. And again, I am so sorry, Cartimandua. I wish you every comfort in this hard time.”

“Thank you, my friend,” I replied, embracing her. She felt so thin. I didn’t remember her being so gaunt.

She pulled back, giving me one last smile, then departed, leaving me alone in the great hall.

I sat down, my gaze going briefly to the floor where my mother had died. In such a short period, everything had come undone. My life had become one of darkness, and what light I had found in the world with Cormag and my children had been dimmed forever. All my dreams for them were now nothing more than ash. There was a hollow inside me that nothing would ever heal.

I closed my eyes, feeling tears slip down my cheeks.

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