“You should rest,” Eddin told me. “You do not need to linger, Carti. All here know you and Cormag are much grieved. No one will find fault in it.”
I turned to Cormag, who had heard Eddin’s words.
“I will stay a time, but if you wish to retire, please do not delay,” Cormag told me.
I nodded, then rose. “My friends,” I said, my knees feeling weak. “Thank you for coming to honor my daughters. Your presence is a great comfort, but I will withdraw now,” I told them, then turned and left, Corva accompanying me.
I was halfway back to the tents when I heard someone call my name.
“Cartimandua?”
I looked back to find Venu approaching.
Corva paused while I turned back to rejoin my old friend.
“Venu,” I said softly.
“I will not hold you. I know your heart is broken,” he said, searching my face. “You saved me, more than once, in the worst moments in my life. I just wanted to tell you that I am here for you if you need anything. I am at your beck and call, not just because you are queen, but as your friend, Carti. If you needanything, you may rely on me.”
“Thank you, Venutiux.”
We stood there for a long time, and then he leaned in and embraced me. “Carti,” he whispered. “I amalwayshere for you.” He held me tightly for a long moment, then let me go.
I turned and rejoined Corva, my head aching terribly. I made my way into the tent and went at once to the cot to lie down, feeling like I wanted to die.
“Do you want something stiff to drink?” Corva asked.
“No.”
“Then let me make you a draft so you can sleep unbothered for a time.”
“As much as I would love to embrace oblivion, I will not leave my husband alone in his grief.”
“Very well. I will be close by if you need me.”
“Thank you, Corva,” I said, then paused. “Corva, do not let Ystradwel leave until I’ve spoken to her.”
“Yes, my queen.”
I closed my eyes, feeling the ache behind my eyelids. My little ones were gone. The labor had gone so difficult that the midwife had warned I would never bear again. My daughters were dead, and with them, my line would end.
Everything was in ruin.
May the Cailleach be cursed.
CHAPTER 23
Cormag and I returned to Rigodonum later that day. Despite everyone telling me it was unnecessary and not the right time, I asked for the chieftains, King Eddin, and Queen Mael Muire to join us in the great hall for a feast on the following night for a meeting. But that night, when my husband and I arrived home, we slept.
Our wounds were deep, and the pain felt as though it would never stop.
Sometime in the night, I woke to hear Cormag weeping.
I pulled him close, pressing my cheek against his back, and joined him in his sorrow.
When I woke very late the following day, Cormag was gone.
I stayed in my chamber that day until it was time to dine again. The last thing I wanted to do was eat, but there were essential affairs to attend to, and I needed to speak to the chieftains.