I had failed my daughters.
I had failed my husband.
They were all dead.
I could not fail my people.
My legs feeling weak, I made my way into the darkness, winding down the dark corridors of the fort. Torches lit my way. The air grew cold as I descended into the dungeons and the underground antechambers. I passed the cells and made my way down a winding, narrow cave that emptied into a chamber that was part of the mountain. I knew the place well. My father had laid upon the stone table the last time I'd been here.
Steeling myself, I entered the room to find one of the dark-robed priestesses of the Cailleach inside. She sat at my beloved’s feet, whispering to the dark goddess. Damhan and Brodi were onthe stone slabs on either side of Cormag. Along with them, their dogs, who had perished defending their masters.
The priestess looked up when I entered. “My queen,” she said, bowing deeply to me, then turned and exited the space without another word.
I stopped first at Damhan, setting my hand on his chest.
“Damhan, may your ancestors embrace you on the other side.”
Then, I went to Brodi. My heart felt heavy. The Votadini had sent these men to the Brigantes in good faith. And now, they were dead.
“Go softly to the Otherworld. May your ancestors await.”
Hands shaking, I turned. Swallowing hard, I approached my husband.
He had been redressed in his finest clothing, his body washed, his hair groomed. On first glance, I saw no sign of the injury that had taken him. But his pale, listless, and stiff countenance told me it didn’t matter how he had died. He was gone, his mirth with him. Those sly smiles, forehead kisses, warm embraces…all gone. My body began to shake. My hands flung upward, covering my mouth. I had thought to muffle the moan, to strangle the sound, but it came anyway.
“Oh, Cormag,” I whimpered and then lay my head on his chest. I let all my pain and sorrow roll from me. Weeping hard, I lay there with my husband one last time. “Cormag…” I whispered. “I am so, so sorry. I failed you, my crow king. I failed you…” I wept and wept until my head ached, my temples feeling like they might burst. Finally, sniffling and wiping my tears, I pulled back. Brushing the hot tears from my cheeks, I worked carefully, righting his clothing once more, pushing his long hair back.
I set my hand on his cold cheek. “I will avenge you, my love. I promise you. Ystradwel’s bones will decorate my gate before thisis done. You did not deserve this. Aye, Cailleach, you are a hard mistress… Would you take your son and grandchildren from this earthly plane without thought?”
The torches in the room flickered.
And then, a sharp wind blew. And though we were just days from Beltane, I smelled snow. A moment later, a blast of ice and snowflakes whipped through the room, and the torches went out.
Standing in the darkness, I gripped Cormag’s stiff arm and watched as a blue light flickered from within the mountain. Twisting in the darkness, I saw the blue flames come to life with arcane runes, and then a robed woman appeared from the darkness.
While the Cailleach wore a red robe and her face was young, I knew her all the same. She had walked into my fort as the Battle Cailleach.
“Will you be so bold to blame me, human?” she hissed at me. “You, to whom I handed my son?”
“You are right. I am just a human,” I growled. “You are a goddess. He is your son! How could you not protect him?”
The Cailleach paused a long moment, staring at me. And then, she smiled. “So much stone in your heart still, Cartimandua? Good. Good. You will need it.”
“But I do not need you and your meddling ways. You, who stole my children because Idid as you asked me. You, who allowed my husband to die. What good are you to me?”
“Youarebecause of me!” the Cailleach responded angrily.
But from the darkness of the cave, another voice rose, clicking its tongue in a chiding manner at the goddess. “The hollow hills choose their queen, or have you forgotten, Cailleach?” a deep voice asked.
My heart slammed in my chest. I peered into the darkness, trying to see, only to catch a flash of silver eyes.
“Take your games elsewhere, Lady of Winter,” the creature hissed at the goddess.
At that, the Cailleach frowned. Then, with a whirlwind of snow and fire, she disappeared, leaving me in total darkness.
“Trust yourself,” the dark voice whispered. “Trust the land. We were here when the world was new, and we will be here even when we are but figments of dreams. Rule well, Queen of the Hollow Hills, but be careful who you trust.”
The air grew cold, and a moment later, the torches flickered back to life.