Banquo laughed. “I’ll make arrangements. Morag should come with us.”
“Yes. If she’s willing to travel so far. I will work with Standish. He can tell any riders I am traveling to the north.”
Banquo slid his chair toward mine and set his hand on my belly. “What will we do after she’s born? I’m plagued by the question.”
As was I. “I don’t know.”
“I don’t want you to give up being queen. And for Lulach’s sake, you cannot. But she’s our child. You won’t be able to acknowledge her. Will that be too hard for you?”
I bit my lip. My hands shook as I braced myself. “It won’t be the first time.”
“The first time for what?”
“For…for me to have a child I could not acknowledge.”
Banquo sat back, a look of surprise on his face.
“Do you remember when we first came to Moray. They asked me about my twins. I…I lied. I told them my other child had died. She didn’t. She is alive and well.”
“What? Where is she?”
“With Epona.”
“Why?”
“The gods decreed that she would be the next leader of our coven. Epona and Andraste urged me to leave her to the gods. And Madelaine and I…we had our own reasons for not wanting her to join court life. I wanted to save my child from the treachery of this world and give her the life I was denied.”
Banquo sat back in his chair. He stroked his chin as he thought.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flicker as Gillacoemgain’s shade appeared. He watched Banquo.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Banquo asked.
“No one knew. I planned to tell you, in time. I did not mean to deceive you. Everything was in shambles when I first arrived. Time slipped away, and… Banquo?”
Banquo stilled. He straightened in his seat then turned and glanced around his room, his eyes resting on Gillacoemgain’s shade. I looked up at Gillacoemgain who stood with his arms folded across his chest.
The two men stared at one another a moment then Gillacoemgain faded.
Banquo shook his head then turned back to me. “I won’t speak against your choices. Your daughter was Gillacoemgain’s, and you did what you could to protect her. Her father seems to stand by your decision,” he said, smiling softly. “And I have already made the wrong decision in my allegiance to Moray. I won’t make that mistake a second time. My Cerridwen…how difficult it must have been for you. Such a painful choice.”
“It was.”
“With Gillacoemgain dead, you had no one.”
“That’s right. He was dead, and I was on my way to marry his killer. I did not want my daughter to suffer my choices. Lulach, I knew, could endure. But my daughter…”
Banquo nodded. “I am sorry you have carried this secret burden. I love you, Cerridwen. Nothing will ever change that.”
I reached out and stroked his cheek with my gloved hand.
“What is your daughter’s name?” Banquo asked.
“Crearwy, after her aunt, Gillacoemgain’s sister.”
Banquo smiled. “One day, we will go together and see her.”
“She’s a very smart girl, very strong. She has the stuff of MacAlpin in her.” In truth, Crearwy showed herself to be made of stronger fiber—the kind of steel needed to rule—than Lulach. While my son was destined for the throne, he always had an Otherworldly sense about him. Crearwy was a far different matter.