Page 39 of Picture Us

An ear-splitting timer interrupted her thoughts, which grew dirtier by the second. Drew snatched it from the table and turned it off brusquely. With the awful noise silenced, they stood and picked up a black plastic tank from beside the sink, their fingers straining as they pulled off the lid. They tilted the tank upside down over the sink and began pouring liquid out from inside.

From the smell alone, Rose could tell it was one of the chemicals from the dark room. “How does that work?”

Drew whipped their head around, a little surprised Rose was still interested in learning about their process. “Basically, you have to reel the film through this metal spool in the pitch dark and place it in the tank. And then this lid has holes that allow liquid to seep through without light getting in.”

Rose nodded. “So basically what we did in the dark room, just in a smaller container?”

“And way darker. The reel of film is way more light-sensitive than the photo paper, so even the red light would ruin it.” Drew laughed as they poured more liquid into the tank and began flipping the canister around, letting the liquid fully coat the film inside.

Shaking her head, Rose wrinkled her forehead. “How in the fuck do you reel film onto a spool in the dark?”

Drew laughed. “A lot of practice and a lot of torn reels.”

Rose laughed way harder than she meant to. It was hard to imagine Drew – who was so put together now – ruining film and making a mess. She tapped her finger against the table. “Could you show me?”

A smile took over Drew’s face, a slight flush of pink rushing to their cheeks. They nodded and reached into a pull-out drawer near the sink. When they closed the drawer, they gripped a metal spool in their palm. With their free hand, Drew grabbed a cardboard box from next to their lightbox.

Rose wasn’t quite sure how they had even managed to carry so much at once. Not because of the weight but because the odd shape required a lot of grip strength. Their hands strained as they held the metal, a mess of veins and tendons that sent Rose’s mind straight back to the gutter.

They must be a climber or something because those hands are goddamn impressive.Rose shook her head as Drew set the supplies down on the messy table. They delicately collected Rose’s drawings into a pile and set it to the side, away from the demonstration zone.

Pulling up a stool next to Rose, Drew plopped down and got ready to teach. “So, the first thing you have to do is find the entrance of the spool, which is marked with this slight lip.” Drew ran their finger along the metal. Sure enough, the swirling metal stopped abruptly and left a sharp edge.

Drew grabbed a strip of old negatives from the cardboard box and placed the end of the film at the edge, gently feeding it into place. “Then you thread the negative through the lip and the rest of the spool. Once it’s about an inch in, you can just start twisting the spool, and it reels the rest for you.”

They spun the reel in, both of their hands twisting in sync. Rose was too busy watching their flexing forearms to notice the film quickly feeding itself between each metal rung of the spool.

Drew set the finished spool down on the table, a perfect spiral.

“You do that in the dark?” Rose asked, clearly impressed.

Drew shrugged. “Give it a try.” They pulled the spool apart, the old negatives falling out of the spiral and cascading onto the table. With a light shake, the entire spool came undone. Drew reassembled the spool as Rose watched, her nerves growing.

They passed her the spool, their fingers lightly brushing as they passed off the metal cylinder. Trying to clear her mind, Rose grabbed the spool and the piece of film from the table. She tried to place the film on the reel. Drew watched along, diligently observing her movements. But she knew Drew was the type to let her fail rather than intervene.

Once she thought had fed enough film in, Rose started to mimic Drew’s twisting motion. But a loud crunch made her stop.

“That’s okay.” Drew nodded, smiling sweetly as Rose looked up at them.

Rose pulled the spool apart. With the film back in hand, she started the process over again. As she slowly slid the negatives into the lip, Rose noticed the film was used.

She leaned closer, trying to look more focused on the spool than the images themselves. The negatives are wrinkled and dented from years of use. But one image on the strip caught Rose’s eyes. An older couple, in their mid-fifties by Rose’s guess, posed perfectly with a picturesque smile.

Next to them, a lanky college student. Their softer face couldn’t stop Rose from recognizing them. Their jawline was duller, their cheeks rounder. But it was their eyes that pulled Rose into the picture.

Even with usual grumpy demeanor, Rose had never seen their eyes look likethat.Dim. Depressed. Rose clocked the pain a mile away, even through the fake smiles of the older couple and Drew’s attempt to appear neutral at best.

Drew swallowed the lump in their throat as they realized what exactly Rose was looking at. “Those are my folks. We don’t talk much anymore.”

Rose lifted her head from the image to meet Drew’s gaze. Their eyes were glassy. Rose couldn’t help but notice how the shine brought more of the gold out of their hazel eyes. Even like this, they were beautiful.

“That sucks.” Rose nodded, finishing spooling the film. She set the metal down and gave Drew her full attention. “Can I ask why?”

Drew laughed. “Why does any queer person not speak to their family?”

“Right.” Rose bit her lip. She looked back at Drew, forcing herself into their line of sight. “You deserve better.”

Before things could get any more serious, Drew let their hand smack against the table. “Now, do it with your eyes closed.”

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