Page 72 of Creatures of Chaos

My face must broadcast my thoughts, because he rushes to add, “You have to know having you in my life, in whatever way possible, is so important to me that the fear of pushing you away was paralyzing.”

“It’s okay. I get it,” I say. And I really do. It’s not fair of me to be upset with Becks for something I thought at one time or another as well.

“And then I became the dragon heir,” he says, weariness leaking into his tone. “I wasn’t free to pursue you after that. I didn’t think it would be fair to either of us because I knew ultimately a mate would be picked out for me by the council and I wouldn’t have a choice in who I ended up with.”

I start to pull back a little, but he anchors a hand against my lower back so I can’t get far. “Then what’s changed?” I ask, because all those things still hang over our heads.

A dark shadow seems to pass over his face. “The thought of losing you has been driving me insane. The Chaos trials were bad enough, but last night, when I saw you in Talon’s arms—” He sucks in a deep breath and holds it before letting it back out. “I was so close to shifting right there to track down Talon and rip his head off. After you broke the last compulsion, I had to take off because I was worried I wouldn’t be able to stop myself if I saw the two of you together.”

I don’t bother defending myself again. We’ve already been over this. I won’t apologize for what the vampire tried to compel me to do. But a seed of something ugly wedges its way between my ribs, making me uneasy. It bothers me that what finallypropelled Becks to act might not have been the depth of his feelings for me, but jealousy.

Dragon shifters have a tendency to hoard what they consider their own, and I can’t help but wonder if that is what Becks is doing with me. Are his feelings true, or are they muddled by his possessive instincts?

“But you’re still the dragon heir,” I point out. “The council is still planning to pick your mate. So where do we go from here?”

Becks swipes a thumb over the curve of my cheek, and just like every time he touches me, it scrambles my mind a little.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen. As the dragon heir I’m bound in unbreakable ways. The truth is we may not be able to change the council’s minds, but I don’t think I could live with myself if I let you go. I want to give this, give us, a shot. I think we deserve that. Don’t you?”

His words sweep my concerns right under the rug and out of sight. I want that too. I want it so badly.

“I do,” I whisper, and then lick my lower lip.

His gaze falls to my mouth and heats, but he forces his eyes back up to mine and groans. “We have to leave this room right now.”

Not what I was expecting him to say.

“Why?”

His eyes dip to my mouth once again and hold. He feathers the pad of his finger over my lower lip, making my breath catch. “Because if we don’t, we won’t be leaving for a very long time.”

I cock my head. I mean, that doesn’t sound too bad to me.

“You’re considering it, aren’t you?” he asks.

I shrug and Becks laughs, shaking his head. Much to my body’s disappointment, he releases me and steps back. “Come on. Lunch is going to be over any minute. I won’t be responsible for you missing any classes.”

He unlocks the door but turns back to me before opening it. There’s a pleat between his brows. “We need to keep this between us for now. With the exception of Ensley of course,” he adds with an eye roll.

I blink up at him. “You want us to hide our relationship?”

He sighs. “I don’t want word getting back to the council members. It might give them an excuse to pick my life-mate quickly.”

It is a completely valid reason, yet that little seed of doubt between my ribs starts to chafe. I nod anyway, knowing that, logically, he’s right.

We leave the storage closet only moments before the bell rings and students start pouring into the hallways. As Becks walks me to my next class, keeping a respectable distance between us and without holding my hand, I tell myself that once we get this mating thing taken care of, nothing will stand in our way. But rather than being ecstatic that everything I ever hoped for is finally coming true, a sour sensation lingers in my gut for the rest of the day.

Twenty-Five

My afternoon classesare a complete waste of my time because my mind isn’t on Elemental Chemistry or Classic Mythology. Instead of being where it should be, it keeps bouncing to Becks, and then getting dragged over to Talon. His warning to me about Chaos is front and center, but there’s something nagging me. Something stuck in the back of my mind that I spend most of the afternoon trying to pry free. When I finally figure it out, it’s like getting hit by a bolt of lightning, but I have to wait until I see Becks after class for confirmation.

I’m searching for him when I run into Ensley in the parking lot. She looks properly repentant, and an apology is the first thing out of her mouth.

“I shouldn’t have done that at lunch. It was thoughtless and really immature. I’m so sorry.”

I look back at her with an arched brow. “Did Becks tell you to say that?”

“What? No. I haven’t even apologized to him. He’s my brother. It’s basically my job to razz him.”

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