Lifting up on my toes, I bring my face closer to his, but he’s so tall that he’s still too far away, so I slide my hand up to his shoulder and then trail my fingers over his neck before burying them in his hair at the back of his head. The strands are as soft as I always imagined, and I play with them for a second before tugging him down toward me. His breath tickles my skin, and my eyes grow heavy.
Talon’s practically vibrating with restraint as he holds himself back. A soft smile curves my mouth because I’m about to blow that restraint right out of the water.
Talon finally moves. Lifting his arm, he reaches for me with a shaky hand. The tips of his fingers brush up against my cheek. It’s barely a caress but I feel it way down into my soul.
I may have never been kissed before, but I know the gist of what to do. With instinct as my guide, I tip my head to the side, lining up our mouths.
My lids slide shut. Our lips can’t be more than an inch apart when a bolt of pain hits me, originating from the tips of Talon’s fingers and working its way through the rest of me like an electric shock. A shouted “STOP!” rings through my mind and suddenly the compulsion evaporates, disappearing like a puff of smoke.
Gasping, I reel back from Talon, the reality of what I’d almost done—kiss Talon and disqualify myself from Chaos—shaking me to the core.
I stagger back several more steps, my eyes on Talon the whole time as a full-body shudder works its way through him. Clenching his fists, he drops to his knees, a look of agony bleeding into his gaze.
I go to help him, but he throws up an arm.
“Don’t come any closer!” he barks, the sharpness of his voice freezing me in place.
The shadowy voice that invaded my mind has fled, but it’s clear Talon is still wrestling with his. Beads of sweat break out on Talon’s forehead, and his eyes start to shadow over, darkness eating away at his muted blue irises until nothing is left but solid black orbs. I only get a flash of his black eyes before his eyelids slam down over them and he falls fully to the ground, his body twitching.
Watching him fight against the compulsion is brutal; my eyes sting as tears threaten to overflow. I want to go to Talon, to help him, but this isn’t a battle I can fight for him, or even with him.
Minutes pass until a final shudder racks Talon’s frame and then his muscles unclench. He takes a couple of steadying breaths before pushing to his feet. When he looks at me, his gaze is haunted.
What did they do to you?
A horn sounds, signifying the end of the trial. There’s a mix of cheers and crying from the competitors.
I’ve passed the third trial, but at what cost?
Twenty-One
The momentI reach the amphitheater, I look for Becks, anxiousness roiling in my gut, but I can’t find him anywhere in the sea of faces. As the crowd starts to clear, Ensley’s somber face comes into view, and I head straight for her.
“Where’s Becks?” I ask before she has a chance to say anything.
Ensley chews on her lip, looking unsure. “He took off right after the trial ended.”
“Left?” I ask, having a hard time processing that. “But he drove us here.”
She holds up a set of keys. “He left me these. He caught a ride back with another dragon shifter. He was a little . . . upset.”
Frustration swallows me, and I suddenly have the urge to whale on a bag. “It was nothing,” I say, sounding like I’m trying to convince myself as much as her.
Ensley nods. “Of course, I know that. And so does Becks. It was just . . .” Ensley clears her throat. “What we saw looked kinda intense. I know it was the compulsion, but it really seemed like you and Talon were into each other. And for a minute there . . .” Her voice trails off.
I don’t need to press her because I already know what she’s going to say, and I get it. The truth is I almost gave in to the compulsion. Even though the desire was forced upon me, at the time there was nothing I’ve ever wanted more than to feel Talon’s lips against mine, to taste him on my tongue. Even thinking about it now brings a wave of heat to my cheeks, but the important thing is that I fought the compulsion and didn’t kiss Talon.
Nothingrealhappened.
But was it all compulsion?my traitorous mind asks, and I tell it to shut up. But a small part wonders. I didn’t fight the compulsion to kiss Talon as hard as I had the other two. For the first two rounds of compulsion I’d retained at least a sliver of myself, but when I was compelled to kiss Talon my mind was completely and utterly taken over by the vampire. If it wasn’t for the spark of pain that snapped me out of it, I probably would have done it.
But that doesn’t mean anything, right? It just means that I fought harder against the first two compulsions because of self-preservation. If given the choice between stabbing yourself or kissing an attractive creature, I know which option everyone would choose. Surely that doesn’t mean that some part of me truly wanted to kiss Talon, but what if that’s exactly what Becks thinks?
“I know you two have stuff to figure out and work through, and that’s not something you want to do until Becks is free of the arranged life-mating, but maybe just give him a little time to cool off this time.”
Something inside tells me that it’s not a good idea to leave Becks to his own devices right now, but I nod anyway.
Ensley’s gaze fills with sadness and perhaps a touch of guilt, but I don’t know why until she says, “Locklyn, about what you said back there, during the trial . . .”