Page 36 of Secret Southern Promises

Fourteen years.

I had fourteen goddamn years to make up for.

“I will.” My voice was rough and tighter than I’d meant it to be. But the anger was boiling too close to the surface now, and I didn’t trust myself to say much more without it spilling over.

Silence stretched out between us like a canyon—deep, wide, impossible to cross. She was the first to speak, her voice barely more than a whisper. “Boone, I know you’re angry—”

“Damn straight, I’m angry,” I cut her off, my voice low but sharp enough to sting. “Fourteen years, Dolly. Fourteen years, and I had no damn idea. Not one word, not one hint.”

Her eyes dropped to the ground, and I saw her bite her lip like she was trying to hold back whatever she wanted to say next. “I did what I thought was best,” she whispered again, her voice trembling just enough to let me know my words were cutting deep. Good.

“Best?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You thought it was best to keep my son from me? To let me walk away and never tell me? You let everyone believe you had some wild one-night stand, that Nash was the result of that? You thought that was better than letting me be his dad?” My voice was rising, and I didn’t try to stop it. Fourteen years of silence were flooding out all at once. “You didn’t do what was best for me or Nash. You did what was best for you.”

I could see my words hitting her, one after the other. She flinched just a little, but enough for me to notice. I knew I was hurting her, but I didn’t care. I was hurt, too.

“You had your dreams, Boone,” she said, her voice stronger now but still edged with guilt. “You wanted to be a bull rider. How could you have done that with me and a baby? You were going to travel all over the country, and what? Drag me and Nash around with you? I knew you were going to be great, and that wouldn’t have happened if I’d told you I was pregnant.”

I stared at her, my heart pounding in my chest as my disbelief swirled with rage. “That wasn’t your choice to make!” I jabbed a finger into my chest, taking a step closer to her. “You keep talking like you know what my dream was, but you only knew half of it, Dolly. Yeah, I wanted to be a bull rider, but that wasn’t all. You were part of that dream. You—us. I wanted you by my side, damn it.”

The pain hit harder than I expected and settled in my chest, heavy and raw. I sucked in a breath, fighting the burn of tears that were threatening to surface. I never cried, hadn’t in years. Couldn’t even remember the last time I had. But right now? Right now, I felt like I was losing all over again.

“And now, I find out you were pregnant when you told me to leave?” I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head. “Fourteen years, Dolly. Fourteen goddamn years. You didn’t think I had a right to know?”

She was staring at me with her eyes wide and glistening with tears. I could tell she didn’t know what to say. Her hands were shaking, and for a second, I almost regretted how harsh I’d been. Almost.

“I didn’t want to hold you back,” she said softly, but there was something firmer underneath, like she’d been holding on to that justification for so long it had become part of her. “You weregoing to be somebody, Boone. I didn’t want to be the reason you gave it all up.”

“You didn’t have that right,” I said, though my voice was rough but quieter now. “You didn’t have the right to decide that for me, Dolly. You should’ve told me.”

“I know.” Her voice cracked, and she ran a hand through her hair, pulling it away from her face. “I know that now, Boone. I do. But back then… I thought I was doing what was best for you. And for Nash.”

“For Nash?” I scoffed. “You think it was best for him to grow up not knowing his own father? You think it was best for me to miss every goddamn birthday, every scraped knee, every ball game?”

Tears slipped down her cheeks now, and she wiped at them with the back of her hand. “I wasn’t thinking about it like that. I didn’t… I didn’t know how to make it all work, Boone.”

“You didn’t even try,” I shot back. My chest was tight, filled with all the things I wanted to say, but I couldn’t get them out. It was too much. Too many years. Too much lost.

She took a shaky breath and stepped toward me. “I’m sorry, Boone. I really am. But we can’t go back. I can’t undo what’s already been done. I can only tell you that I never meant to hurt you like this.”

Her words hung in the air, heavy and thick, but they didn’t change the way I felt. Not right now.

“I don’t know what to do now,” I admitted, my voice quieter, almost more to myself than to her. “I don’t know how to be his dad.”

“You already are,” she said, her voice softer now, tentative. “And you always have been. You just didn’t know it.”

That hit harder than I expected. Because she was right. Iwashis dad, but I hadn’t been there for any of it. I hadn’t been there to teach him how to ride a bike or throw a ball. I hadn’tbeen there to show him how to handle his first heartbreak or to tell him that sometimes, life just knocks you down, and you have to get back up.

But I was here now. And I wasn’t going to let another day go by without being part of his life.

“I want to be in his life,” I said, my voice firm, resolute. “I don’t care how hard it is. I don’t care what it takes. I’m not walking away from him.”

Dolly nodded, her eyes red and swollen from crying. “I know,” she whispered. “I want that too, Boone. I know I made a mistake fifteen years ago.”

I didn’t say anything for a long moment, just stared at her, trying to figure out where the hell we went from here.

“Does he know?” I asked.

She shook her head. “He doesn’t know you’re his dad.”

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