Page 82 of Mob Bride

I ease her onto the mattress and tuck her in. Then I move to the closet to pull out and examine the clothes hanging there. I choose one of my button-down shirts and then go to the very dresser I finger-fucked her on only hours ago and pull out a t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. Since she has nothing here, she might be more comfortable sleeping in something else. I head into the ensuite to ensure there’re towels, shampoo, soap, and anything else she could need along with a fresh toothbrush and toothpaste.

I leave everything on the counter, so she doesn’t have to search. No, it’s not because I don’t trust her not to snoop. I simply want to make it easier for her. I can be at least a little thoughtful considering her predicament. I’m about to leave when I hear her groggy voice.

“Daddy?”

I freeze.

Does she realize the pet name she used? I look over my shoulder, and she’s more beautiful than I’ve ever seen before. Her hair’s a little tousled from her turning over while I moved around, and she’s a bit bleary-eyed as she comes around. It makes me wonder how long she slept for.

Her expression tells me she didn’t notice what she called me. She pushes up onto one elbow and watches me watch her. I don’t step away from the door, and it makes the silence grow awkward. I cock an eyebrow to ask what she wants, but I know there’s an element of challenge there. She reads the tone, and I can see her retreat.

“Never mind, Shane.” Her jaw clenches for a second. “Sorry. Thank you for bringing me up here.”

She spots the clothes at the foot of the bed before her gaze darts to me. Then she looks toward the bathroom.

“I appreciate it. I’ll figure something out. Can I order some clothes online? Would that be possible?”

“It is, but you can’t use any of your cards, and you can’t use your account. We’ll put it under mine.”

“No, Shane. That’s too much. You’re already giving me a place to stay. I don’t need you to buy me a wardrobe of clothes.”

“But you do. Carrie, somebody in my family or I has to buy everything because you can’t use anything that’ll trace back to your banking info, where things are being delivered, or when you purchase them. If you want, one of my sisters can order it under her account. I can always pick it up, or we can have guys bring it over. But someone has to help you out right now.”

I see the war going on in her mind. She knows what I’m suggesting is reasonable, but she’s worried about taking a handout from me after our argument earlier. I open the door wider and step into the hallway before I turn toward her.

“Let me know what you think. If you’re hungry, come downstairs whenever you want. I’m going to heat up some shepherd’s pie I made the other day. There’s that and leek soup and several other things in the fridge. Help yourself to whatever you want.”

“Shane, is that really it? That’s all you’re going to say?”

“What do you want, Carrie? Do you want me to forgive you for spying on me, for hearing things that could put me away for life, that endanger my family, that endanger you, that violated my trust? No, I’m not ready to forgive you for that. Are you ready to fully trust me and believe I have your best interests at heart and that maybe you’re in over your head and all I’m trying to do is protect you like I promised, to take care of you the best way I know how?”

It all comes out in a jumble in one breath. She glances at her lap, clearly chagrined. Yet, when she looks up at me, there’s strength radiating from her, even if I can tell she feels remorse.

“I want to believe you, Shane, but I’ve dug myself into such a deep hole, I don’t know that anybody can pull me out. I’m so used to relying on myself when I’m in situations that’re unpredictable. Yes, I’ve always had handlers when I go undercover, but they’re never there right alongside me. This feels much the same way, except the stakes are exponentially higher now because of Bartlomiej and Jacek, along with how I feel about you and what I’ve just done to sabotage any chance I had with you.”

As I listen to her, it makes me genuinely consider how I feel about a future with her. Pushing aside the anger and the hurt, I make myself truly see things through her eyes rather than merely saying I can.

I let the anger slip away because, despite how I feel now in the moment, it doesn’t change what I want in the long run for us. I walk back into the bedroom and perch on the edge of the mattress.

“Carrie, if you want a future with me, then there can be one because I still want that, too. We have a long way to go to get through all of this and to see whether we’re suited for a future together. We have to get to a point where we can trust one another and know we have each other’s best interests at heart.”

“Shane, I know that. That was never a question for me. My problem was not knowing what other people might be doing. I fear for your safety as much as I do mine. Part of the reason I listened was because I’m scared for you. I know the power your family wields, and I know how close all of you are. But a bullet is a bullet, and it doesn’t matter who your family is. It can still kill you. I want to know what’s going on in case it’s life or death for you because there’s nothing I won’t do to protect you. It’s not a one-way street between us.”

“I know, and I understand this is challenging for you. I don’t doubt you have your own skills and things you can bring to this.Can you live with me promising to ask your opinion if it comes to matters I believe are safe for you to know, then trust me when there’re things I don’t believe are?”

“That’s fair. What if you and I disagree on what’s safe for me?”

That gives me pause as I think about how I want to phrase my answer, so I don’t speak rashly.

“Carrie, that isn’t for you to decide. I hate saying that because I understand the unfairness of it. I don’t want you to think I’ll be heavy-handed in every part of a relationship with you. That’s not what I want, but that’s how things stand now. I need you to understand there’ll be consequences if you don’t listen to my advice about this. I’m not threatening an ultimatum of me walking away from you if you don’t do as you’re told, but I will punish you, little one. I will spank you until your arse is so raw you fear you’ll never sit again because I need you to accept, in this, I’ll always lead. This isn’t your choice.”

Her expression when she opens her mouth screams she disagrees. I plow on.

“I know if feels excessive to you, but that’s how things stand. If you can’t live with that, then there’s no moving forward.”

“You want domestic discipline is what you’re saying.”

“No, not in everything. I want you to do as you please or disagree and have a say in how this relationship works. However, with mob stuff and your involvement in it and your safety, it’s completely non-negotiable. I have only ever lived this life. It’s all I know. You come from a different world. Even though you now know your mom’s connected to us, it’s not remotely the same. You’re not equipped to decide like I am. I don’t make these decisions arbitrarily, even if I make them quickly. Part of what you can’t do—at least not for a very long time—is make those split-second decisions I do. I must always consider the immediate situation along with the long-term outcomes. Every decision I make is about more than just me and what I need. They’realwaysabout an entire family and an entire organization. You don’t know all the inner workings to make those educated decisions, and you’re not used to making such massive ones in the matter of heartbeats.”

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