Page 26 of Mob Bride

“Bartek?”

I make sure my voice wavers. He spins around in anger, and I burst into tears. I run toward him and wrap my arms around his waist, clinging to him, sobbing. He hesitates for a moment, but then wraps his arms around me and coos to me just like he did the last time I cried after Jacek beat me.

“Bartek, I was so scared you’d refuse to see me. I didn’t know if I should come anyway or whether it would make things worse. But I’ve never been so scared in my life as I was there. It was all because I was stupid and jealous and petty. I didn’t trust you. I’m so, so sorry I didn’t trust you. I’m so sorry.”

I keep repeating that over and over again, hoping he’ll start buying what I’m selling. He tries to push me back. His hold on my shoulders is gentle. He’s not rejecting me. It’s as though he wants to see my face, but I shake my head, burrowing into his chest, squeezing his waist even tighter. I whimper, and he goes back to stroking my hair. If it were anybody else—no, if it were Shane—this would be the most soothing thing in the world. If I were listening to Shane’s heartbeat, if it was his hands holding me and caressing me, I would never be afraid of another thing in my life. I’m terrified right now.

“Ksiezniczka, I’m here now. It’s going to be all right. We’ll talk about it.”

I rear back and let him see fear in my eyes as I shake my head. I make myself tremble, which isn’t easy because I don’t want to make it look pretend. I’ve practiced making my lower lip tremble for times exactly like this. I must be getting it right because surprise registers on Bartlomiej’s face. Then there’s aflash of anger before he looks at me with the same softness he usually does.

“Oh, Kaja, I would never hurt you. I just want to talk in private.” He leans forward to whisper in my ear. “I just want to hold you on my lap and know you’re safe. You have no idea how terrified I was.”

I nod. He slides his hand into mine. I half expect him to lead us to his bedroom, but he takes me to his office instead. Fear spikes through me again, and I hesitate as he opens the door. He looks back at me and offers me a smile.

“Sweet one, you really believe I’m going to kill you, don’t you?”

I swallow, but I don’t make a sound. I just keep looking afraid. I’m far more afraid than I want to admit because there is a good likelihood I’m not coming out of here alive. He lets go of my hand. I take a step back, but he slips his arm around me and guides me into his office. When he shuts the door, he presses me against the wall and practically devours me. But it’s not like when Shane kissed me. It doesn’t get the same natural reaction out of me.

I have to force myself to kiss him back. His kiss is possessive, but I sense something else. His hands run over me as though he’s checking to make sure I’m really here. As though he wants to make sure I’m really okay. Maybe I will survive this after all, but only if I play along. If his emotions are this intense, then they could swing in the opposite direction if I don’t do what he wants.

He pulls away and scoops me into his arms and carries me to the sofa. He sits down and cradles me against him. He says nothing. He just keeps kissing my temple and stroking my hair. I’m going to let him lead. I’m going to give him some control. I don’t want to do anything to change the tone.

“Kaja, what do you mean you were jealous? What were you doing there? Jacek told me you were spying on us.”

“I was.” I infuse remorse into my tone. “But it’s not because of whatever Jacek told you. I thought you were meeting another woman. I thought that’s why you were away for so long. That because you were with somebody else, you let what happened with Jacek happen. He believes anybody who isn’t in your family is out to get you. He believes somehow I wanted to hurt you. But all I want is to know we’re okay. I had this whole thing worked out in my head. You were going to meet some other woman, and you want to be with her. That you are with her, and I’m the one you see on the side. I don’t know if that makes sense now, but in the moment, I was so certain of it.”

“You thought I was having some illicit rendezvous at a lumberyard?”

“It was so confusing to me. I didn’t know what to believe. I was questioning myself. But again, I was so jealous. It’s never been like that before. Bartek, I’ve never felt this way before. That’s why I feel so miserable. It makes me look crazy. I am crazy.”

I let tears stream down my face again, and he wipes them away with care that surprises even me. It’s more tender than he’s ever been.

“Kaja, I’ve told you I love you. When are you going to believe that? When are you going to know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you? I wish you would believe that. What would it take? Do you want to move in? Do you want to travel with me? Do you want us to get married?”

Whoa. This is moving way too fast.

“Bartek, you know I can’t move in with you. It’s bad enough I spend nights here and you spend some at my place, too. What would our priest think if he found out? All of your men will think I’m an even bigger whore than they already do. Jacek will believe everything he’s been accusing me of. He’ll really try to kill me.”

I sniffle while I watch him. He doesn’t deny Jacek wants to kill me. He doesn’t deny what other people will think. He would move me in here against everybody else’s wishes or thoughts. Does that mean he really believes he loves me that much? Or is he so narcissistic he believes he’s untouchable? I don’t know. Maybe it’s even a combination of both. He doesn’t press the issue again about where our relationship stands. Instead, he moves on to the questions I already expected.

“Kaja, why were you carrying a gun?”

“Because I didn’t know what I was going to see. I didn’t take it to shoot her. That wasn’t it. I guess a reasonable part of me knew what I was doing was stupid and dangerous. I knew I should take some way to defend myself. I guess it was a good thing I did. I mean, I didn’t have to shoot. But it certainly got a lot more dangerous than I expected.”

I sniffle for effect. His hand on my hip tightens, but it’s not with anger. It’s as though he can protect me right now from the ghosts of that meeting.

“How did you get that gun?”

“I bought it when I moved to the city before I knew you. I knew I was going to live on my own in a neighborhood known for the Polish mob. I didn’t know what to expect.”

“I take it it’s not licensed.”

“If the cops had caught me…”

I let that thought trail off. He responds immediately.

“Nothing would have happened to you. I would have known immediately. You wouldn’t have even made it to a police station. You would be with me like this. Just where you belong.”

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