Page 64 of Teach Me How To Fly

However, I was even more nervous now that it turned into reality, and the fact that Maksen was coming with me made me even more anxious about it.

I knew him, and I also knew how unstoppable he was if he really wanted something, but we’d come to the agreement that he will watch me through the window glass and if something happens, then he’d intervene.

I stopped in the front of the mirror, gripping the edge of the sink between my fingers as I glanced at my reflection. The last few days left their mark on me, as the dark circles around my eyes became more visible, and my face caught a pallor that I’d never had in my life. Somehow, the long bath I just took made me look slightly better.

I dried my hair, then I tried to make some curls with the rotating brush Lydia had in the cabinet under the sink. After I put on the pajamas she gave me, I inhaled deeply and got out of the bathroom, where I met Maksen’s eyes.

“Sorry for staying in so long,” I said as I led my feet closer to the bed.

He smiled at me, then grabbed the blanket and gently pulled it aside so I could snuggle under it.

“You deserved some time alone with yourself as well as I needed it,” he quickly replied and turned his head to me as I threw myself on the bed.

He covered my legs with the blanket and I felt being taken care of, just as I felt every time I was with him.

We glanced at each other and I felt the urge to move closer to him and place a kiss on his beautiful gleaming lips, but I didn’t. I was content with just looking at them and thinking how good they felt every time he kissed me.

I tilted my head, thinking if I should’ve told him what I wanted. I thought about it while I was in the shower, and I realized we hadn’t talked about what we’d found at the cabin. He just chose to harm himself and not say a word about it, so I wanted to hear what he had in his mind.

“Maksen, we haven’t talked about it, you know?” I quickly said and sat up to look him directly in his eyes.

“About what?”

Here we go.

“About Sylvian and that he might’ve done something to you too.”

His eyes locked on me and I couldn’t say that it wasn’t visible how irritated he instantly got after he heard what I said.

“There’s nothing to talk about. I found out he was the man from my nightmares and that’s all,” he briefly replied and his jaw clenched with anger.

I knew he wasn’t angry with me but with the situation. No one reacted the same when they faced trauma, and Maksen chose to react with anger and denial, and I could totally understand that.

“Don’t you wonder what happened? What he did to you?”

“Not even a bit. What I don’t know cannot ever hurt me, and believe me, I’ve been hurt enough,” he explained and took his eyes off of me. “I don’t need any more reasons to get even more hurt.”

“I see,” I said and moved closer to him, resting my head on his chest.

If his body was drowning in anger, then when I put my hand on his chest, I felt how he completely relaxed. He exhaled deeply and put his arm around me, hugging me tightly.

“Your fear of being kept somewhere locked comes from something, and I think it’s connected to something Sylvian did to you.”

He remained silent as he started caressing my arm. I knew it was going to be hard to make him want to talk about it, but at least I tried. I proved to myself that I needed more than simple questions to make him truly open up.

I put my hand around his body and with a slight movement, I hugged his legs with mine, sitting now in the most comfortable position I’ve ever been in.

“Maybe you’re right, Anna, but I don’t want to know,” he said with a lower tone of voice, placing a kiss on my forehead. “If I ever remember it, then I’ll see how to handle it, but I don’t want to put pressure on me now. If I have to remember it, then my mind will do it when it’s ready.”

I nodded, playing with my fingers on his chest. He gave me another kiss on my forehead.

He was in denial, and I was in acceptance. There was a fine line between the two, and I was going to make him go over it.

21

ANNALISE

The road to the sanatorium was the longest I’ve ever been on, and I didn’t know if it felt like that because it really was long, or because I was anxious and nervous about seeing Sylvian for the first time in my life since Lukyan kept me away from that house.

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