With a tiny drop of courage that fell into my veins, I took his hand in mine and made him follow me. I know he was aware of how much I liked spending my time in the forest, but he didn’t know my favorite place of them all, so I’ve got to show him.
We left the house with slow steps, keeping the silence between us until the only sound that was surrounding us was the thrill of the birds flying high in the sky.
The weather was just like us now, vulnerable to anything. The sun didn’t know if he should come out of the clouds, nor did the gray clouds know if they should let the rain drops fall on the ground.
“Where are you taking me?”
“In the most beautiful place of this forest,” I said as I gave him a soft smile.
He looked at me curiously, and the fact that his eyes were so tired from crying scared me. I didn’t know what happened to him, but I wanted to dig up into his soul and find out exactly what made him like that.
We plunged into the forest and passed by one of the few trees with the thickest trunks, next to which I loved to sit and simply enjoy the silence of nature.
As we were still walking, the wind was caressing our faces, and the birds didn’t stop chirping their magical songs. I smiledas I raised my eyes to the sky as if I wanted to thank someone for everything that surrounded us.
Mom, if you’re there, please, just help me figure this whole life out.
And help Maksen too.
Sometimes, I just felt the need to talk with her, even though I only did it in my mind. It felt reassuring to know that I could say something to my mother up there, and I knew she was hearing me.
“I didn’t know about this place,” he said as we arrived at the only place I felt good.
“I know. I think no one knows about it besides me,” I replied and stopped near the river.
Maksen gripped my hand in his, caressing my skin with his thumb. I saw how he analyzed the surroundings with his mouth open and it made me feel proud that I surprised him.
The place was the point where the river met one of the forest’s edges, and on the right, between some birch trees with white peeling bark, there was a small lake where I loved to bathe with my feet in summer. Everything surrounding us was mesmerizing.
“Do you want to stay there?”
“I just want to stay with you. That’s all. If you want us to sit here on this humid ground, then I’ll be glad to sit here,” he explained in a lower tone of voice.
I’ve never seen him like this before.
“Then let’s sit,” I said and sat down on the little spot of grass.
He sat beside me as he looked far away towards the horizon line.
“Tell me what happened, Maksen,” I said as I put my hand on his knee.
He looked at my hand, analyzed it, and it almost seemed like he wasn’t prepared for this move. I knew I didn’t initiate a touchtowards him more than a hug normally, but I felt the need to do it now.
I needed to feel him. Physically. Mentally. However I could.
“We just came back earlier from the vacation. That’s all.”
He had that face he had made in the past when we were children where he was lying to me that he didn’t hide my toys.
“I know you’re lying,” I said and gave him a slight smile. “Tell me the real reason why you came back early.”
A deep sigh came out of his mouth and I saw how he started chewing his inner cheek. I squeezed his knee and started caressing it through the jeans he was wearing.
The wind blew onto our bodies with such force I felt shivers down my spine. And of course, he noticed my little tremble and gazed at me intently.
“May I?”
His dark eyes were always ravishing me, and no matter what he might’ve asked me, I would’ve always said yes. I nodded and the next moment he pulled me to his chest, covering me with his big arms and blowing warm air onto my neck. I felt tingles all over my body just at the thought that his lips were so close to me. And I didn’t feel any fear being in his arms.