Page 18 of Teach Me How To Fly

A woman shouldn’t use bad words, Annalise.

Yet here I was, calling him a total ass. I almost laughed at myself, but I managed to refrain.

“I know that he’s my father, but he made me think it would’ve been better if he wasn’t,” I whispered without making eye contact with her.

I knew she heard what I said, because the moment she looked at me I saw something changing in her round eyes. Something that made me think she wanted to say something, but she couldn’t. She was just surprised that she heard me talking like that and I bet she wouldn’t have thought that her favorite niece could ever use such words.

I saton the bed’s surface, reading a few more pages from my Astronomy book.

After the walk and talk with Lydia, I chose to study a little more until the food was ready, and as soon as the smell of pie hugged my senses, I instantly stood up from the bed and moved my feet to the kitchen.

I hopped on every stair and as I got closer to the kitchen, Olivia and Lydia’s whispers became louder.

“Tell me the pie is ready!” I yell as I enter the kitchen and they both jump on their seats as they see me.

“Of course it’s ready!” Olivia mumbled and took the tray from the kitchen’s island, giving a long-side eye to Lydia.

I took a plate and put it beside the tray, while Olivia cut a piece of it for me.

“Hope you like it!” she said and looked me directly in the eyes.

“Of course I will!”

I took a bite from the slice of pie and I raised my glance to both of the women.

What could they be whispering about, so scared that anyone could hear?

8

MAKSEN

Seven days since I last saw her.

Seven days since I haven’t fucking stopped thinking about her and the nightmares she might’ve had while I was away. The nightmares she’d always had and I had no idea.

I raised my gaze to the mirror in front of me and a mischievous smile came on my face. The knife was cutting deep into my flesh and the tears were not even starting to show.

I loved pain as much as I loved inflicting it.

The blood was running down my legs as I pressed the blade deeper. I wanted to scream, but I kept my mouth shut. I wanted to take the knife out, but then I remembered Annalise and how badly I was missing her. So I pushed the blade deeper, a stabbing pain striking up my leg as the blood began to trickle down.

I took the knife out and the moment I looked at myself, I saw the vulnerable man whom I didn’t ever want to see.

I couldn’t be vulnerable. Not anymore.

I stabbed my other leg with such ease, letting out a broken scream as the pain was devouring me from the inside out.

The basement’s walls trembled, facing my growls, and I fell on my knees, my palms splashing the pool of blood I’ve created.I moved my fingers in it and let out a useless cry for help because no one could’ve helped me. Not even myself.

I stood up, trying to take the first steps as my legs were shaking frantically. I needed to do it. I needed to feel the pain so I could be indestructible.

Cautiously, I started making my way to the stairs and the darkness rushed to take me in its arms. I fell prey for it and I stopped once I managed to grip the metallic bar of the stairs.

I took a deep breath in, trying to find my will power to continue walking.

I could do it. I could do whatever the fuck I wanted, even though my body burned in flames. I had to learn how to love the pain and make it my secret weapon because that was the only way I could win in the shitty life I had.

I raised my leg and stepped on the next stair, the pain growing even more. I clenched my fist, leaning on the walls and pushing myself further onto the stairs.

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