Page 26 of Teach Me How To Fly

She was looking me directly in the eyes, without fearing the eye contact we created. She was emotionally destroyed, almost like a haunted wreck in the middle of a dry ocean.

She wasn’t my Annalise anymore. She was angry, lost in a deep sorrow and angst I didn’t know how to take her out from and I found myself wishing it was jealousy she felt, but not for her best friend. And I hated myself for wishing that.

“I don’t want to listen to you. I really don’t. Everything I do that includes you, destroys me even more. Until I figure out a way to not let anything about you affect me so much, I have to stay away from you,” she explained again with the lower tone of voice and another tear rolled down her cheek.

“I’m affecting you, huh?”

She hesitated to offer me an answer and I noticed how her jaw clenched.

“Tell me, what about us affects you so much.” I stepped closer to her, my breath hitting her face now.

I kept the smirk on my face as I invaded her space, and she stood there frozen for a second as she tried to keep her tears from rolling down her cheeks. She was fighting to keep her words in and not tell me the truth why she was feeling like that.

“Maybe my father is right. Maybe I really shouldn’t talk to you.”

“You couldn’t do that even if you wanted to,” I murmured and stepped even closer to her, now having less than a few inches keeping us apart. “Before saying anything like this, you have to listen to me first, just as I listen to you every time, okay?” I added, and my remark made her look at me with a different interest now.

I knew I hit her vulnerable chords by playing that card. And there she was, ready to hear me out.

I glanced at her, trying to comfort her without touching her in any way, even though I fucking wanted to take her into my arms and never let her go.

“Tell me, then. Tell me why you’re going on a vacation with Katya and why haven’t you told me that you’re using me to get closer to my sister? Tell me for how long have I been a means to an end to you?” she yelled and burst out in a broken cry which made me feel both angry and disappointed at myself for making her feel like this.

“If you think for a second that I’m using you to get closer to your sister, then let me tell you that you’re completely wrong!” I thundered at her and felt my chest rising at a faster pace. “Your father is forcing me to marry your sister and not ever speak to you. If I do the opposite, he might just kill me or who the fuckknows what he would do! So until I figure out how to get out of this situation and enjoy my time with who I want, I have to play by his rules.”

She stopped crying and her big round eyes scrutinized my entire soul. Her mouth opened in shock hearing my words and I saw how her hands started shaking.

Fuck.

She didn’t know about the marriage and I just screwed it up. I trampled on the last piece of the unbroken heart she had left.

“Y-You have to marry Katya?”

It hurt me like hell hearing her question. “Yes. In six months, when she'll be turning eighteen.”

The truth was out now.

The moment she heard my words, she let her gaze fall on the ground, perfect blonde curls, framing her face. I couldn’t stay away from her and no matter what was going to happen, I was going to face it like the hell of a man I was. I needed my Annalise in my arms right now.

I stepped forward and put my hands on each side of her face, forcing her to look up at me. She trembled when I pinned my body over hers and took her into my arms. As soon as I kissed her forehead, she started crying even harder, which made me shudder.

How can I make her whole again?

“I don’t want to marry your sister, Annalise, but if that’s what I have to do to get to see you again, then I’ll do it a million times,” I whispered, letting my gaze fall on her lips.

“Then don’t marry her.”

“It’s that or not seeing you again, because I’ll be dead.”

She sobbed and raised her glance at me, biting her lower lip and for the first time since I had her so close to me, she gazed at my mouth as if she was going to devour me entirely. My muscles tensed under her curious look and that shocked me.

“Then kill me too,” she whispered and I felt her fingers digging into my arms.

I wanted to kiss her.

For the first time in my fucking life, I wanted to do something so bad, and I didn’t dare to do it. I was so used to killing bad people, making them suffer and enjoying having their dirty blood on my hands, but I couldn’t find the courage to feel her lips on mine.

She was playing with my mind and dancing with my soul in a way that no one else had ever done.

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