Page 54 of Lucy and Her Wicked Three

"What if I can't do it?"

"Take pictures?"

"Any of it. What if I can't keep up with the content the same way. I haven't worn makeup in weeks. I can't fake my smile right now. I've tried. Lord have I tried over the last few weeks. I'm so good at stuffing my anxiety down deep and pushing through. But it's like the floodgates opened and I can't push the water back in.I don't think I can take the same pictures and videos and still be the same… sunny, zen-like girl I've always been."

Portia looks away and ducks her lips out, squishing them side to side. She's perfection in every way but we all have our quirks and her thinking face is one.

"Do you think that's the only reason people listen to you?"

"Well, yeah. Kinda? I mean, that's when I got real big, when I got more bubbly on camera."

She nods, still squishing her lips to the side. "But that's not true. You got real big because you're you, Lucy. You can't fake your personality, even if you tried. Just be you. Honestly? I think people would be even more receptive if you dropped the fourth wall a bit and told them about your anxiety. That shit's real. A lot of people have it and not everyone out there giving advice knows what the fuck they're talking about."

"Truth."

She taps the soda can with her pink tipped acrylic nail. "Just think about it. Come to brunch. Bring your phone or don't. If we do a shoot, we'll do it just for us. Just for fun. But we don't even have to do that. But the girls miss you. Even Cara," Portia laughs.

"Okay. You're right. I'll be there."

She nods, "Perfect." But before she disappears out of my room she pauses in the doorway. Her head nods toward where the guys are in the living room. "And don't worry so much about what goes where. If they're experienced, they'll help you through it. You're lucky. The sex can be amazing. If you trust them to take care of you, don't be shy. If anything, I think they'd be into it if you show some of your curiosity."

"How do you know?"

She shrugs one shoulder. "Just a hunch. Can't wait to hear all about it Sunday." Then she winks and disappears down the hall.

I hear her talking to the guys then the front door shuts. Glancing at my phone on the dresser, still plugged in butturned off, I get up and grab it. Turning it on, I bypass all the notifications, finding it easier to ignore them, no desire to read what's being said about me.

Instead, I pull open the text from Portia. She sent me three videos. Why she had them all ready off the top of her head, I don't want to think about. She added the caption,Friends share with friends good porn.

Laughing, I set my phone down and get dressed, throwing on another pair of leggings and t-shirt with a simple bandeau bra.

Grabbing my phone and headphones I head into the other room to join the guys.

Chapter 19

Silas

I've been watching Lucy out of the corner of my eye for the last half hour. Her cheeks are bright red and she keeps fanning herself with her t-shirt.

Noah and I got the TV console and our gaming equipment set up and we both found it remarkably easy to settle into work at their house. Though neither of us have said it outloud, I don't see either of us going home again, so I'm glad this is working out.

I'm having second thoughts about breaking down Mateo's office. We really need one. Noah and I spend a lot of time at the computer when we start a new project, and a proper set up at a desk really is easier than the couch. We could also turn each of our own bedrooms into a mini office, because if we kept Mateo's office that would mean… well, shit. It would mean I'd share a room with Noah. Which isn't that big of a deal. I've slept in the same bed as him plenty.

I shake my head, clearing the train of thoughts, but my eyes get drawn back to Lucy. Her being here is a distraction I'm not used to. I don't mind in the least, but as we test the levels for the final draft of the game we're getting ready to sell, Noah and I keep tripping up on our words, lost in the middle of a sentence when one of us is caught staring.

She's on the opposite side of the couch as us, her knees tucked up against her chest. She has her headphones in and she's onher phone, which surprised us both, though we assumed it had something to do with the visit from her friend.

But the look on Lucy's face doesn't tell me she's having an anxiety attack and panicking over social media content. Noah got up once to give her a kiss and she quickly hid her phone in her lap. And earlier, she offered to make us smoothies, which Noah gladly accepted on my behalf—traitor—but she flipped her phone upside down on the couch, tucking it under a cushion, and when she sat down again, she discreetly picked it back up.

I'm trying to focus on work but as I said, she's… distracting. It's not like I don't enjoy the view. I just can't take my eyes off it.

Lucy's cheeks blush, she bites her lip, her dark brows furrow tight. And it gets to a point where I can't take it anymore.

"Concentrate any harder over there and you might solve climate change."

"Huh?" She looks up.

"That might be the lamest thing you've ever said," Noah chuffs, without looking up from the screen. My, the tables have turned.

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