Page 26 of Lucy and Her Wicked Three

I'm a fucking mess.

Slipping on sunglasses, I leave the apartment.

Running helps. Movement, feeling my muscles burn, the air pumping through my lungs, it helps break through the anxiety. I pass through Sunrise Park and slow to a stroll. The last time I came through here, I posted a bunch of videos. Spent half the day on my phone.

I don't have it with me today, though. So I enjoy the scenery. Smell the roses. I walk to the water's edge, following the bike path, and when I get to the other side of the park, I feel further from the Delaney problem but closer to the Mateo problem.

I don't want to admit it after breaking down the way I did, but I'm embarrassed how I behaved and handled everything last night. Mateo won't think I'm ready for whatever he's offering. But I am. I think. I'm so lost.

So, I keep running. Stopping at a market on the way home to pick up some veggies for dinner, I can't run home like I want to with a bag full of groceries, but I walk instead of taking a cab, hoping watching strangers on the streets might help keep my mind off my problems.

Just as I approach my building, I see a familiar face and freeze in place.

With a skateboard kicked up, leaning against his leg, he's smiling, looking around at the passersby until he spots me, and his grin widens. I can see the dimples from here. It's intense, his attention. This attraction that bloomed out of nowhere.

Falling for Mateo as hard as I did, I assumed my lust was reserved for the dominating boardroom type: crisp suit, perfect haircut, lean but cut frame, with a rigid gym schedule and a penchant for finer things.

But seeing Silas and his happy grin, baggy clothes, arms covered in black ink tattoos, I wonder if I have a thing for nerdy, artsy types, too. Wide lips make his smile feel genuine, dimplesin his cheeks furthering their intent. Pretty honey brown eyes, warm brown skin, sinuous, taut, muscular arms. He's disarmingly charming, really handsome and the man knows how to use his mouth and fingers.

My cheeks blush as I walk towards him. The memory of his adept touch lingers, like I can feel it with every step. Maybe I should feel jealous or uncomfortable that he knew his way around the female anatomy so well, but all I feel is bashful that I got to experience it.

I'm so distracted by the memory that I don't have time to be embarrassed that I came in a gushing force, which I'd never done before, all over his face and shirt. Or that I ran out of the club, buried in Mateo's chest, hiding from everything they made me feel.

What surprises me is that I don't feel weird about being touched by three men at once, that it felt almost… normal.

"Hey," Silas smiles, leaning in to kiss my cheek like we're old friends.

First date jitters make my palms slick, and I adjust my groceries, glad I've got something to hold on to. Until he glances down and sees the heavy bag, stealing it from my hands.

"Oh, you don't have to do that," I say shyly.

But he holds it away from me, picking up his skateboard with his other hand. "I'm nothing if not a gentleman."

I can't help it, I snort. Then laugh out loud.

Silas leans back in mock offense, hand to his chest. "I'm a total gentleman. Ladies first and all that."

My cheeks burn again, his honey-brown eyes sparkling in delight at teasing me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask. I'm not mad he's here, but I wasn't expecting him. While last night may have felt normal albeit exciting along with a myriad of other emotions, only nowis it occurring to me that their interest in sharing me might exist outside of the bedroom.

Holy shit. Why didn't I think of this before now? As if I don't have enough things making my mind go crazy.

Compounding my thoughts, Silas replies, "I thought we could hang out. I wanted to see if you were doing alright and Noah and I took a vote, making Mateo give you space."

"Because you and Noah have a lot of catching up to do?" I tilt my head, repeating what he said to Mateo last night.

Silas doesn't look ashamed. Instead, he grins, "Totally. But also, because he's got zero chill and was about two steps from coming over here and forcing you to talk to him. We agreed Noah or I had a better shot at acting like normal humans in front of you."

I can't help it, his honesty makes me laugh. "I guess I never thought of him like that. He isn't very chill, is he?"

"Nah. Not at all."

This is weird. It's weird, right? Is this a date? Am I dating my boyfriend's friend?

I need to ask Portia. But what if she thinks it's insane? I feel kind of insane because I'm… into it. I'm fucking into this.

"Come inside." I lead the way through the lobby as he follows me to the elevator.

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